10 Ways To Embrace A Softer Lifestyle

Autumn is always a lovely time to slow down, catch up on rest, read your favorite books, sip tea, and maybe watch your favorite horror movies. However, many of us need to utilize the changing of the four seasons smartly; we find ourselves in speed mode from the beginning to the end of the year. And it often leads to burnout, bitterness, exhaustion, and many other unpleasant things.

Since August, I have been undergoing changes to incorporate a softer lifestyle and define what this means for me. I realize a soft life is all about making different choices to disconnect, detach, and discover new things. The soft life journey has challenged me to release the social media concept and create my idea of what it means.

Below are ten ways you can incorporate a soft lifestyle in your daily life.

1. Disconnect. Sometimes it is better to disconnect from people, places and things that don’t serve your life. If a person, place or environment triggers your personal growth do yourself a favor and say goodbye.
2. Detach. You can still love from a distance while keeping your peace. I have learned that the best way to love others sometimes means staying in your own lane.
3. Discover. Find new place, spaces and faces that connect with who you are now, sometimes growth can be challenging but it feels better when you are around a tribe that supports your higher self.
4. Decide. Most of the time you are only one decision away from choosing the life you desire. Don’t let fear get in the way, take that leap of faith.
5. Delegate. We were not meant to do everything so ask for help or pay someone else to lift the load.
6. Desire. Implement more fun & pleasure in your life.
7. Do’s. Do what you love and want to do.
8. Don’ts. Don’t put limits on yourself, don’t let other’s opinions hinder your journey and don’t try to please others.
9. Dreams. Pursue your dreams and put forth action.
10. Define. You get to create your definition of what a soft lifestyle looks like for you.

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How To Be A Misfit In A World Full of Copycats….

You can listen to this episode here: https://tinyurl.com/2rucym9m

Same thoughts, ideas, body types, looks & hair, a world that encourages duplication versus originality has become a place filled with clones. Diversity shouldn’t be limited to a person’s race or culture, but variety includes all types of people from different backgrounds, mindsets, and philosophies. The world becomes a beautiful place when everyone is inspired to embrace their inner genius. 

Embracing your genius can make others classify you as a weirdo, quirky, rebel, or misfit. However, these classifications are an indication of society’s misunderstanding of who you really are. In the webster’s dictionary, the word misfit is best described as a person who is not suited or cannot adjust to the circumstances of his or her particular situation. I define a misfit as a person who doesn’t allow their environment to dictate who or what they should be in the world.

When you think about the word icon or legend, I am sure you think of a person who defied the odds, created and broke some rules in their life’s journey. I believe the world becomes predictable and boring when we try to fit everyone into the same model. The beauty of life is breaking the rules, creating your own rules, and living life on your own terms.

Below I have a couple of tips on how you can embrace your inner misfit, break the rules and be the outcast you were truly meant to be.

1. Recognize your unique abilities. Spend time on learning the things that make you different or set apart.
2. Tap into your inner genius. We all have a hidden inner genius; however, many of us don’t take the time to figure out how our mind works.
3. Be okay with being misunderstood. The best way to be embrace who you are is by going on a journey of discovery with self-love, self-confidence, and self-acceptance.

Body Positivity: Honoring Your Body

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/2bk8wa3d

Over the last century, women have struggled with societal beauty standards, body image & all the things connected to our feminine archetype.

We have been brainwash to reject, loathe & neglect our feminine structures. However, in the last five years, there has been a revolutionizing of women reclaiming their power over their bodies, redefining beauty, and much more.

I think it is vital to connect with our bodies & realize that God intricately made us. We have spent enough time shaming, neglecting & hating our bodies. I believe in the power of honoring, respecting & loving all the phases our bodies go through.

Today I will discuss a couple of ways we can inject body positivity in our life & see our feminine body as a unique gift to ourselves & the world.

Below are three ways we can reclaim our feminine essence & honor our bodies in a sacred way.

1. Cycle Syncing. Cycle Syncing is the idea of aligning your eating, exercising, and other areas of your life with various phases of your menstrual cycle. The menstrual cycle has four phases: menstruation phase, follicular phase, ovulatory phase, and luteal phase. At each stage of your cycle calendar, your body goes through hormonal changes that affect your mood, eating, and social habits.

Here is a article to give you deeper insight into cycle syncing: https://www.thrivinghormones.com/hormones/what-is-cycle-syncing-and-does-it-works/

Here is a youtuber who explain cycle syncing in an excellent way: https://youtu.be/piniMW4pH6k

2. Beauty & The Body

• It is essential to see the beauty within yourself so you can appreciate your external beauty. (Make a list of the things you love about your personality & your favorite physical attributes)
• Celebrate your beauty by realizing your unique features are a gift to the world. (There is only one you and that is your superpower.)
• Figure out your body type so you can learn how to adorn your figure with the right clothes.

• Style: Once you understand your body type you can start to shop for clothes that accentuate your body.
• Define Your Style: Think of three words that define your style now (just remember as you grow your style will change so don’t be scared to change your style words). Ex: My style words right now are ease, effortless & elegance

Here is an YouTube video to get further guidance on discovering your personal style: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESsn7N1Na2E

3. Hormones

• taking vitamins (probiotics, Garden of life, multivitamins, Ritual vitamins etc.)
• going organic (chemical free in what you put in & on your body)
• doing research on how your hormones change at different stage & age in your life

The Beauty of Being Yourself

In 2003, I looked in the mirror and realized I didn’t like myself. I had to confront the fact that who I was pretending to be was making others happy but making me feel unhappy. My world was falling apart because I was collapsing on the inside. I had no clue to who I was because I spent too much time running from myself. If you ever felt like this it is time to face the inner turmoil and heal.

As an ex-people pleaser, I realize how saying yes was my favorite addiction. It was hard for me to say no to people because I desired to make other people like me. However, I realize making others happy cost me a peace of mind. It takes courage to step out of the crowd and be different. Our differences are what make us beautiful, flaws, and all.

Here is the link to listen to this episode on The Inspirational Corner Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WowJvLuKyuI

 

 

Be Raw, Be Flawed, Be You!

When you look at a rock you see nothing exciting or beautiful about its features. A rock has no human form, people would consider it to be cold and aloof.  Yet a rock is apart of God’s creation just like a flower. However, we may say that a flower is more beautiful than a rock because of the outside features.

Nonetheless, just like a rock some people are hard on the outside yet beauty lies within. You never know what transpired in their life to make them bitter. Their bitterness is an accessory expressing their hurt.

I remember a period in my life where I accessorize bitterness. My heart was harden by traumatic experiences that happened. I was tired of life disappointing me over and over again. So, I created walls around my heart. I thought if I became emotionally unavailable then I would not get hurt. My elusive behavior kept me from love & fully living.

As I look back on my life I realize I was who I needed to be at that time. I understand that regretting who I was in the past does not serve me. I was raw, flawed and me. Those who saw me as a mess didn’t understand I was a rough draft. My blueprint of greatness was still pending.

Many times we judge ourselves for the raw version of who we are instead of being gentle with ourselves. When you are raw it forces you to be real; unrefined and unpolished. For instance, when a new singer produce their first album it is appealing because their vocals are unfiltered. Once they become commercialized they lose their authenticity; the record label want them to go with an image or sound that sells records versus talent. Growth is a beautiful thing but I never want to lose the thing that makes me relatable.

So, I urge you to be raw, be flawed & be you even if it is ugly right now. Don’t regret the rough draft you are at this moment. As you pursue a better version of yourself you will begin to peel back the blueprint so people can see you….the masterpiece!

A Seat At The Table…

In a world full of people pleasers it is refreshing to be yourself. When you choose to be yourself magic happens in your life. You no longer settle for mediocrity but you embrace the extraordinary. It will ignite a spark in you to do life in a different way.

Fireworks are created when you no longer follow the crowd but decide to become the life of your own party. When you choose to walk in your power everyone will not accept you. However, learning to be you bravely takes courage.

In this journey you will understand that everyone will not get an invitation to the party of your life. The people you use to entertain will no longer get a seat to the table. You will  gravitate towards people who empower, inspire and encourage you. They will be the ones who become your tribe because you deserve a life filled with those celebrating your existence.

So, today I encourage you to reevaluate the people you have seating at the table of your life. Ask yourself this, “Is this person celebrating me or tolerating me?” You deserve the support, love and joy you give freely to everyone else.

 

Would love to hear your thoughts so chime in below!

 

Be Uncommon

When you find out who you are you stop running. All the illusions you once believed about yourself begin to fade away. You realize chasing others for external validation was never needed because you found out the truth. The truth was that you were always amazing.

When you are introduced to the real you then your life will change. How do I know?Well, it took me 37 years to find the real me beyond the layers of inadequacy. I spent seven years going through my “authentic journey”. To be honest, the journey has just begun. 

All those years in my life where I felt inadequate and wanted to fit in, I never realized it was never meant for me to fit in. Freedom came when I let go of the stigma of pleasing others & embraced loving myself. I believe when people truly start being themselves then we would have a world full of originals  instead of copycats.

So, today I challenge you to embrace the passionate, weird, quirky and funloving you. Because you my friend need to be the original AMAZING masterpiece you were created to be!

 

Be Bold.

In the rawest state I could finally see myself, my true self. No longer hiding behind weave extensions, braids or whatever I thought gave me beauty. I wanted to get back to the real me….the short hair me.

For as long as I known short hair has become a signature statement for me. I remember the first time the scissors hit my head at the young age of 15 in Detroit, where hair is a muse and a statement piece. I realized how much I identified with my short hair and how it gave me a boldness, sexiness and confidence to walk to the beat of my own drum.

Everytime I would try to grow my hair it really never worked out because I was always compelled to return to what really moved my soul…my short hair. I dated different guys who wanted me to grow my hair long and I attempted to do it; however, I never could fully commit to letting it grow. I found out that when you try to change the essence of who you are to please a man, society or whoever you lose your true identity.

So, again I found myself on this journey of growth, letting my hair grow back from an undercut hairstyle. This time I was seriously growing it back for myself because I wanted to have long hair. But I started to become tired of the weave extensions, weight being added to me. I did not want to hide anymore then there came an epiphany.

Guess what? Yep, I am sure you figured it out, I cut my hair again this year. I feel free, sexier, bolder and a little more confident to be me. I made a vow to myself to stop omitting pieces of myself, the things that make me who I am. I am proud to be a woman who can rock short hair. I believe short hair is beautiful and reveals the true beauty of a woman. Short hair is my natural state of being.

Recently, I read Alicia Key’s open letter on Lenny Letter  it was very inspiring as she discussed how she went through an evolution of letting go of the stereotypical ideas of beauty. She no longer wanted to hide behind all the things that made her different yet beautiful. I loved the letter because it resounded with my soul. We live in a society where being different can sometimes be looked down upon because being different is viewed as abnormal.

As I grow I have become bold in my conviction of being true to myself and not fitting into the status quo. Even, in love relationships I refuse to shrink who I am to be with a man who doesn’t love me for me. It has taken me a very long time to start loving myself and I can no longer comprise myself for the sake of others. I am aware that I matter; my happiness, peace of mind, my life and decisions matter. I can no longer settle for pieces of myself I need the whole version of me. When I show up whole then people are challenged to accept themselves too.

Tweet: Being bold is an act of bravery saying “this is who I am, take it or leave it”!

Reference: 
http://www.lennyletter.com/style/a410/alicia-keys-time-to-uncover/

The Emerging Of The Butterfly

Like the Walls of Jericho, I couldn’t breathe everything around me suffocated me. I wanted to know what it felt like to be able to breathe fresh air without breathing in toxicity. The toxins that embraced me was the uncomfortable feeling of being comfortable.

It was time to let myself be free, free enough to live the life I deserve. I could no longer do it where I was living. In true honesty I outgrew the comfort zone. Self discovery was inevitable so enticing that I had to take a splash. In this moment, a twilight zone premonition was taking over me.

Many of us feel the temptation to exist outside the bubble but we fear the unknown. I use to be in that bubble of comfort but it made me nauseated. Once I started doing things that were authentic to my character I floated further and further away from the bubble. What is this bubble I talk about ? Your Comfort Zone….

Self- discovery usually happens when every familiar thing is taken away from you. After exiting the military I settled in a place that I did not want to be but God’s plan was greater. He used a desolate place to help me find the amazing woman I was inside. I didn’t realize this girl existed but once all the layers were peeled aside a beautiful butterfly emerged. Now as I discover more of who I am the desolate place has become a place I am outgrowing.

In the voyage of self-discovery you grow which makes a comfortable place uncomfortable. Eventually, a caterpillar has to emerge from its cocoon to become a butterfly. The butterfly has to fly away to a place they can enlarge their territory and spread their wings.

Be willing to self-discover the butterfly within you !

Am I Feminist?

The word feminist can sometimes have a negative meaning depending on who is defining the word. I never thought I would even questioned the fact that I really believe deep down I am a feminist. According to Webster’s Dictionary a feminist is a person who believes in organized activities in support of women’s rights and interests. It also defined feminist as the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. I never have been focused on the word feminist because I believe we live in a society that put labels on things but create a bad stigma behind the labels.

In this case, I believe the word feminist consistently has been misconstrued to society. I recently took a quiz that identified whether you were a feminist or not and to my surprise it stated I was a full blood feminist.  I am not the type of woman who likes to be defined by labels and I never let labels make me or break me.  Labels are used to categorize things which can sometimes limit our ability to be more. Labels are used to minimize who we truly are to put us in a box. I never like to be put into a box because as we grow we change and continue to expand. However, as I further decipher the word feminist I realize it is nothing to run from but embrace. I am truly a woman who loves things that are centered on women empowerment, uplifting women and inspiring women to be more than what society says they should be.

It is our duty as women to make sure we are upholding the right image of what a lady should be due to the responsibility to the younger generation of girls. As a mother I constantly express to my daughter to be her own person, never try to fit in with the crowd but blend out. In society we constantly try to make others fit into a certain category but it takes bravery to step out the norm. And being a woman who believes in equality I guess I am a feminist in my own right. Feminism for me is about embracing your inner strength as woman breaking societal validation and being true to yourself. If this is what makes me a feminist well I can proudly say that I am. Every woman I believe is a feminist if we take the time to embrace our inner feminism and love ourselves completely. A woman is powerful when she knows her power uses it wisely to educate other woman about their worth and bridge the gap of tearing down the wrong images of women. So am I feminist, according to my definition I can embrace the word wholeheartedly.