Taking A Personal Sabbatical

During November and December, the holidays are beginning to roll around, and in this subtle moment, life becomes a little slower and more meaningful. The world starts to feel the joy of the holiday spirit as you realize spending time with the ones you love is essential. Although society capitalizes on marketing the commercialization of Christmas, this holiday season is about joy, love, and peace on Earth. 

I took a road trip to visit my family recently, which was the best thing I decided to do. I knew after relocating, staying with a friend temporarily, and establishing a new career path, a mental reset was vital for me. I was determined to get some rest, let go of the past six months, and relish a new beginning. However, I knew taking a personal sabbatical was the motivation I needed to move forward. 

The holiday season is the perfect time to reset and incorporate a sabbatical in your life. A sabbatical is a period of rest or time away. It is beneficial to reflect on the past moments in the year and begin to prepare for the year ahead. I encourage you to opt out of the busyness and tap into rest and enjoyment for the holiday season.

Here are a couple ways to start your holiday sabbatical:

1. Take a month away from social media in November or December.
2. Keep track of your sleep schedule (with a sleep app such as Calm or Samsung Health)
3. Make a list your favorite Christmas movies to watch or get a subscription to Frndly for the Hallmark Channel. (I pay only 6.99 annually to enjoy Hallmark)

Here are a couple of blog post to prepare you for the holiday season:

Embracing A Season of Hygge

The Art of The Pause…..

Generating Gratitude Daily…..

Also if you need a dose of self-care this year get my book, 28 Days of Love: A Self-Love Journey. (Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and whereever you enjoy buying your favorite books).

Embracing A Season of Hygge

Hygge is a Danish term that means a quality of life that incorporates cozy, comfy, and contentment while living in the present moment. I was introduced to this term a couple of years ago and love practicing hygge (hoo-ga) during the Autumn and Winter months. When the Fall comes, it reminds us to slow down and live life at a steady pace. Hygge is a perfect lifestyle to embrace when you desire more coziness, comfort, and enjoyment with family, friends, or yourself.

Below I am sharing a list of ways you can implement the concept of Hygge in your daily life.

1. Take a day off, stay in bed and watch your favorite shows on Netflix, Amazon Prime Etc.
2. Make a nice breakfast before you go to work and sit down to eat it.
3. Buy lowlights to place in your bedroom and enjoy the ambiance.
4. Drink your favorite beverage whether in the morning or evening.
5. Pick a weekend to do a book marathon and read your favorite book all day.
6. Spend time collaging in your favorite notebook.
7. Spend some family time with the ones you love.
8. Invite your friends over and have a game night (intimate setting of no more than 2 friends).
9. Cook your favorite dish and savor every bite.
10. Buy a blanket/throw that represents your personality.
11. Take a walk in nature.
12. No social media for a week.
13. Take a Monday or Friday off from work
14. Write a list of ten things you are grateful for.
15. Write in your journal.
16. Play dress up with clothes in your closet (try to recreate different outfits).
17. Listen to complete silence in your room.
18. Buy your favorite candles and light them.
19. Have a spa day at home.
20. Take yourself out on a solo date.

The Top Five Items You Need This Fall

Recently, I decided to fill the void in my passion for fashion and got a part-time job with a clothing boutique. I enjoy boutiques because they are quaint, interpersonal, and have an intimate atmosphere. Clothing boutiques give customers a luxury experience, royal treatment, and pristine customer service. The boutique I work at target market is for the mature, sophisticated woman who loves quality clothes and accessories. 

White House Black Market was introduced to me in my 30s. I wanted to change my look, so I stumbled upon this boutique when I lived in South Carolina. Upon relocating back to South Carolina this year, I knew it was time to uplevel my wardrobe, and just like that, WHBM became a part of my life again. 

Here are a couple of Fall pieces I recommend for your everyday wardrobe at White House Black Market :

✨Item 1: Jeans

Every woman needs a quality pair of jeans that sustains the test of time in every season. I think jeans are essential in your wardrobe to dress up or down. Jeans are multifacet throughout any season.

✨Item 2: Rib Dress

Sweater dresses are usually the go to dresses for the fall/winter season however, ribbed dresses are the way to go. This particular sleeveless dress is a staple piece you can wear casually or jazz it up for a night on the town with your favorite accessories.

✨Item 3: Military Blazer

Whether it is a blazer, blue jean jacket or cardigan I believe this is a vital piece to add to your wardrobe. This particular jacket at WHBM has a miltary style design that can be paired with your favorite jeans, casual t-shirt or cami with a pair of ankle boots, flats or heels.

Item 4: Simple Black Boots

✨Whether the boots are ankle length or taller they are a signature piece to add to your fall wardrobe.

Item 5: Accessories

✨Accessories are the glue that pulls your outfit together; whether it is a headpiece/headband, glasses, watch, earrings, necklace, scarf, or purse, they impact bringing your wardrobe together.

Here are some of my favorite posts on fall fashion, body positivity & more:

Fashion Tips For Being Authentically You

Body Postivity: Honoring Your Body

Keys To A Cozy Simple Life

💕Last but not least check out my new book to help you style your inner self with love: 28 Days of Love: A Self-Love Journey

10 Ways To Embrace A Softer Lifestyle

Autumn is always a lovely time to slow down, catch up on rest, read your favorite books, sip tea, and maybe watch your favorite horror movies. However, many of us need to utilize the changing of the four seasons smartly; we find ourselves in speed mode from the beginning to the end of the year. And it often leads to burnout, bitterness, exhaustion, and many other unpleasant things.

Since August, I have been undergoing changes to incorporate a softer lifestyle and define what this means for me. I realize a soft life is all about making different choices to disconnect, detach, and discover new things. The soft life journey has challenged me to release the social media concept and create my idea of what it means.

Below are ten ways you can incorporate a soft lifestyle in your daily life.

1. Disconnect. Sometimes it is better to disconnect from people, places and things that don’t serve your life. If a person, place or environment triggers your personal growth do yourself a favor and say goodbye.
2. Detach. You can still love from a distance while keeping your peace. I have learned that the best way to love others sometimes means staying in your own lane.
3. Discover. Find new place, spaces and faces that connect with who you are now, sometimes growth can be challenging but it feels better when you are around a tribe that supports your higher self.
4. Decide. Most of the time you are only one decision away from choosing the life you desire. Don’t let fear get in the way, take that leap of faith.
5. Delegate. We were not meant to do everything so ask for help or pay someone else to lift the load.
6. Desire. Implement more fun & pleasure in your life.
7. Do’s. Do what you love and want to do.
8. Don’ts. Don’t put limits on yourself, don’t let other’s opinions hinder your journey and don’t try to please others.
9. Dreams. Pursue your dreams and put forth action.
10. Define. You get to create your definition of what a soft lifestyle looks like for you.

💕If you enjoyed this post don’t forget to leave a comment below.💕

Out With The Old, In With The New

“A fallen leaf is nothing more than a summer’s wave goodbye.”-Unknown

This is officially the last week of summer before we usher in the autumnal equinox. As we wave goodbye to summer, we can use this week to reflect on lessons learned, things accomplished, and what we desire for the upcoming season. It is never easy saying goodbye to the warm weather, summer vacations, and family time; however, Autumn is one of my favorite seasons of the year, which gives me time to slow down, rest, and hit reset. 

When I think of Autumn, I think of days becoming shorter, nights becoming longer, and spending more time reading, getting cozy, and drinking hot cocoa and tea. As Autumn begins, it is a time of abundance, harvest, and starting something new. In the last few months, I have been transforming from the old version and diving into a softer side of myself. I no longer wanted to cultivate hardship, suffering, and struggle. It was time to embody my new version, leading me to a softer, carefree, and refined lifestyle. And so, I decided to let go of summer gracefully and welcome Autumn with open arms. 

Simply letting go of the old and ushering in the new… 

Here are a few ways you can celebrate the arrival of the Autumn season:

Make a list of your favorite Fall movies.

Make a list of books you want to read.

Research local events, festivals, and concerts in your area.

Decorate your home for the Fall season.

Declutter your closet and determine what new pieces you will add to your Fall wardrobe.

Grocery shop for your favorite tea or hot cocoa.

Create an Autumn playlist. (check out mine here: https://tinyurl.com/wz9ad4f2 )

Love Notes….

• Ready to spend time reconnecting with yourself? Check out my new book here: https://tinyurl.com/2w4n57sj
• Soft Girl Era Toolkit (For the woman who desires more ease, elegance and enjoyment in your everyday life): https://payhip.com/stylicia/collection/the-soft-girl-era-toolkit

Celebrating Winter Solstice

Winter solstice is when the days are shorter, darkness settles on the Earth, the weather seems colder, and hibernation is ideal. However, the winter can be a time of rest, stillness, and reflection.

I remember growing up in Detroit, Michigan, where winter lasts longer than any other season. I vowed never to live somewhere that winter existed. And so I kept that promise to myself, finding myself running away from the brutal cold. But upon relocating to Virginia at the beginning of this year, I realized it was time to confront my resentment of winter.

Whether hot, cold, or warm, every season has a specific time. I knew that as much as I loathed winter, it was time to embrace its significant role in my life.

Through my self-discovery, I learn winter is a time when I can slow down, meditate and reflect on my growth. With the end of 2022, I’m deciding to celebrate the onset of winter and not travel for the holidays. I decided to go into 2023 refresh, free and focused.

Over the years, I spent so much time on autopilot throughout the year, barely taking time to pause. But the older I get I want more moments of reflection. The winter solstice can give you time to prepare for the upcoming year in a calm, relaxing, and rejuvenating way.

So before you take a resentful path towards winter, figure out how to use this time to refocus and plan for your 2023.

Create More, Consume Less

Consumption has been at an all-time high in America, where the temptation to do more, buy more & work harder is encouraged. No matter where we go, we are consumed with technology, marketing & so much more.

Recently, I decided to reassess how much I’m consuming and how intentional I am at creating things in my life. I discovered that I’ve been spending too much time-consuming. So I decided to monitor what I’m consuming & see where I can create more.

As I monitor my consumption, I understand why my creativity is stagnant, especially in producing my next book project.

Creativity is the gatekeeper of helping our imagination evolve. Without time to nourish creativity, we become stagnant in our mindset. We begin to lose the joy of reigniting our childlike nature.

So what can we do to create more & consume less?

The first step is to be aware of what you are consuming, why you are consuming & it is hindering or helping you. Consumption in moderation is vital.

The second step is to figure out why you avoid nourishing your creativity. I realized avoidance of what you need to do leads to mindless consumption. Avoiding what needs to be done is easier than confronting the root of the problem. 

The third step is to set boundaries and time management around how much you consume through shopping, social media, or being connected to technology. It is okay to detox and disconnect from information overload. 

After completing these steps you can begin to start making space for your creativity. Overall, creating is about enjoyment, connection, letting things flow and allowing yourself to have space to implement things that bring you joy.

A Nerdy Girl’s Summer…

Hot girl summer has been a trendy term since 2019, made famous by the rapper Megan Thee Stallion. However, for us ladies who love bookstores, rom-coms, a bottle of bubbly or wine, and all things nerdy, I decided to make a fun list of essential things for an intellectual girl to have an unforgettable summer.

• Find a beautiful bookstore or library. Try a vintage bookstore or an independently own bookstore; here you will find some classics and treasures.
• Watch Black & White Movies. I love black and white movies like Casablanca, It Happened One Night, Sunset Blvd & many more.
• Shop at a thrift store, vintage consignment shop, or boutique to find unique pieces to put in your wardrobe.
• Read your favorite genre, whether romance, thrillers, or suspense.
• Go out in nature or sit at your local park & connect with God’s creation.
• Create a fun playlist with all of your favorite music.
• Have a dance session in your home.
• Watch a favorite foreign film without subtitles.
• Listen to the rain.
• Do some stargazing.
• Find a receipe & cook a meal.
• Listen to classical music.
• Go watch a sunrise or sunset.
• Spend a day doing nothing, no technology.
• Sit in silence.
  

Redefining The “Strong Black Woman” Dynamics

If you glance in Webster’s dictionary, the term strong is defined as the capacity for exertion or endurance. When you state that someone is strong, it is often received as a proud statement or a compliment; however, over the last couple of years, African American women are choosing to redefine their strength.

When I was growing up my mom always would say that she was raising me to be a strong black woman and I didn’t realize later in my life I would loathe the term of “being a strong black woman”. As I begin to grow into my womanhood I embrace being a strong black woman and it became a badge of honor. Friends and family would be in awe of how strong I was when I went through traumatic challenges in my life. But it became a strain to carry the weight when everyone depended on me to be this superwoman. I became angry and hurt because I wasn’t asked about my well-being. I felt like people assumed I was doing well because I held on to being “a strong black woman.”

In 2018 after hitting burnout, I decided to slowly unravel the strong woman persona and release myself from the superwoman black girl syndrome. While saving everyone else, I didn’t realize I needed to save myself. Now in this new revolution of women taking back their power, making their voices heard, and standing up for their rights, we are redefining terms that have crippled our growth to become limitless.

Below are a couple of ways you can redefine the strong black woman dynamics:

1. Ask For Help. If you need help, reach out to someone. Needing help doesn’t mean you are weak, but it means you are brave enough to trust someone with your vulnerability.
2. You don’t have to be the strong one. If you are the only person in your group where everyone comes to you for strength, then find another circle. However, if you find that you like being the person everyone depends on, there may be deeper issues where seeking therapy is necessary. 
3. It’s okay to say you don’t know. People may identify you as a strong black woman because you seem to be the expert on everyone’s problems. It is okay to tell others that you don’t have the answer and for them to seek professional advice or help for their issues.
4. Create a new narrative about “the strong black woman.” It is up to us to create new stories about a black women. 
5. Representation. You are your best representative as a person so make sure you are expressing yourself the way you want others to see you. (Think of adjectives beyond strong to describe yourself). 

Spring Clean Your Emotions

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/m9x7k3rp

Spring is the perfect time to take inventory and declutter your life. However, we often limit spring cleaning to our home and disregard utilizing the same methods to spring clean our mind, body, and soul. Lately, I realize how important it is to declutter my emotions, plug into a healthy emotional state, and let go of the toxicity. 

The last couple of months of my life has been emotionally draining, and I’m ready to take my power back. I spent the last three months living with someone during my relocation journey, which affected my emotional state. When you are unaware of others’ toxic behaviors, it can cause emotional distress. Emotional distress can cause anxiety, depression, sleep deprivation, and much more. It is vital to take inventory of how you feel, identify your feelings, and find solutions to foster emotional well-being.

Emotional self-care sets the foundation for handling your mental capacity to deal with daily challenges in life. I decided to implement self-love, self-compassion, and self-kindness as essential points to overcome emotional meltdowns. Overall, taking care of yourself should always be on your daily agenda.

Below are a couple of ways to spring clean your emotions to relinquish the unhealthy emotional roller coasters in your life. 

1. Identify how you feel. When you are honest about how you feel you will be able to work through every emotion even the uncomfortable ones. (Journal how you feel about an issue or situation and list the emotions that resonate with you.)
2. Treat yourself with kindness. It is vital to not to judge how you feel but be kind to yourself & give yourself time to process each emotion.
3. Release the emotional baggage. After you go through your process take time to let go of the toxic people, things & environment that contribute to your emotional roller-coaster.