Have you ever been disappointed or felt like what you desired and what you got were out of sync?
I am sure we all have faced the reality of disappointment at one time or another in our lives. We may have been disappointed by the people, places, and expectations we set for our lives. However, I have realized that disappointments are a part of life, and instead of allowing them to make me bitter, angry, or fear the unknown, I have the power to let the disappointments of life lead me to the life of my dreams.
Disappointment has been a big part of my life. It started when I decided to leave home and venture into adulthood. My first encounter with disappointment started in my 20s with romantic relationships and friendships. I desperately wanted a man to love, appreciate and find me worthy, but I didn’t realize this experience was a massive disappointment because I didn’t require this of myself. Then the next uncomfortable moment of my life was learning the art of female friendships. I was tired of insecure women trying to compete; instead, I desired friends who wanted to celebrate, encourage and collaborate. However, when I started to set boundaries and work on my self-worth, I knew it was bringing me closer to my authenticity.
The most challenging chapter of disappointment I endured was when my two-year-old daughter died. I stopped believing in life’s whimsical, romantic things and allowed bitterness to create a prison of fear and hopelessness. But after all I endured, I had the right to feel disappointed by people, society, and everything at that time.
So you may wonder, what did I do to let disappointment become a motivation to help me embrace a life of adventure?
I decided to let it help me identify things I didn’t want in my life and start spending more time focusing on what I wanted in my life and making a plan to pursue those desires. I believe we spend so much time on our disappointments, creating stagnancy and hopelessness. As adults, we lose our childlike imagination and joy of living life whimsically. You have the creative ability to let every disappointment lead you to the adventure your life deserves.
Life serves us with many distractions that lure us away from the things we desire to accomplish. The goal is to do less of what makes us miserable and more of what sets our soul on fire. How can we achieve this simple feat? What if we were brave enough to let go of our comfort zones and dwell in the possibilities of following the yellow brick road of dreams. Yes, this may seem impossible, but dwelling in the possibilities is about dreaming big, planning, and relinquishing control over the outcome.
It has only been three weeks since I sold my home and started my journey in road-tripping adventures. I have learned a lot about myself and strengthening my relationship with my daughter in these short weeks. I can’t believe this has brought us joy, laughter, and small lessons along the way. Although the journey has been scary, it has taught me the power of dwelling in the possibilities. What does it mean to dwell in the possibilities? Well, it can mean multiple things however, the core of this belief system is about optimism. When we stay optimistic in spite of external situations, we can stay hopeful for serendipitous moments.
If you are ready to break some miserable cycles in your life and dive into the possibilities follow the yellow brick road to the steps below:
Detox yourself from your comfort zone. Nothing grows from a comfort zone, so you have to be willing to let go of the past, stop revisiting those familiar people, places, and things. And enhance your spiritual well-being.
Distractions are oxymorons. Sometimes distractions can take you left or right. However, you have to determine no matter the disruption; everything is working out in your favor.
Wander into the Wild. If you are bold enough to kiss the past goodbye, it will introduce you to a new hello. When you wander from the familiar, it will give you the gift of hope that leads to the possibilities of an unbelievable life.
Are you ready to dwell into the possibilities of your life?
Recently, I had to confront the idea of letting go of my old life to move forward to create a new life. When I look at the life I am currently living; I realize I am residing in a dream I have outgrown. A couple of years ago, I declared what I wanted and how I wanted to live without realizing that I am living my dream now.
Sometimes it is hard to let go of our old dreams because we have become stuck in a comfort zone. I have learned there is nothing extraordinary that grows within a comfort zone. Comfort zones are where fear, stagnancy, and unfulfillment reside because we begin to let the doubts infiltrate our minds like fungus on bread crust. And when the fungus starts to spread, it creates an infection.
As we voyage through life, we should constantly challenge ourselves to set new goals and dream new dreams. When we create new standards for our lives, we are daring to dream big, go higher and not settle for what appears to be comforting. Like I mentioned before, comfort zones are great, but nothing phenomenal will grow there.
To live a daring, phenomenal, and iconic life, you have to be willing to dream bigger and evolve higher. What old dream, old life are you ready to let go to create a new vision for your life?
Below are three concepts to help you develop your new vision for your life.
Make Peace With The Past. We often don’t want to move forward because we think our past or things in the past are better for us. But when you realize that your present and future life have more incredible moments, you will bide the past farewell.
Break up with your fears. Don’t allow your fears to stop you from living an extraordinary life.
Write down a new vision. Writing your dreams, ideas, or goals in a journal is a great way to hold yourself accountable to produce your extraordinary life.
After you have put one of these concepts in motion, I believe it will motivate you to dream bigger, raise the bar and never settle for a life that doesn’t set your soul on fire.
How many times have you looked at your life and realize you are not living the life you desire? Did someone tell you that your dream was unattainable? Or did you let society dictate to you what was more important in your life?
When we are children, we believe we can be anything we desire to be in life. No matter how ridiculous our dreams may seem, as a child, we believe in our thoughts. As we shift into the teenage years, we start to let society dictate to us which journey will be profitable. We begin to focus on reality instead of the desire of our dreams.
The child inside of us starts to disappear because reality becomes more important than our childhood dreams. Our lives no longer hold enthusiasm or passion; instead, our adulthood has made us apathetic. We begin to forget about the vision we had to live a life full of wonder, passion, and excitement. Our dreams have become faint whispers needing a fresh breath. What can we do to resuscitate our passion for pursuing our dreams?
The first step to pursuing your dream is to reconnect with your childhood dreams. When I was young, I enjoyed writing, and I remember my Uncle Dave would always tell me I was going to be a famous writer. I remember in 2003 while living in Sicily, my love for writing reignited when I read Maya Angelou’s poem “Phenomenal Woman” for open mic night. Four years later, I published my first poetry book. The little girl on the inside of me reconnected back with my lifelong dream to become a writer. It was up to me to answer the call!
The second step is to write a list of the the things that stopped you from pursuing your dreams. After you recognize the roadblocks begin to write a list of possibilities of following your dreams. (For example: Roadblock: I stopped pursuing my dream of painting because I didn’t think I was a great artist. Possibility: I can start taking art classes at a local gallery to brush up on my artistic skills.)
The last step is to surround yourself around people who are living your dream. When you surround yourself around like-minded people you are building a community of support. When you have a support system it fosters a life filled with enjoyment, creativity and success.
So pursue the life you desire instead of burying your dreams. Dreams are meant to be lived out loud!!!
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”~Henry David Thoreau~
Why is it when we get older we lose our imagination? We start to live life in reality and forget our childlike nature. It amazes me as we grow up we lose the sense of our imagination. When I was a child I had a dream of being a writer and traveling around the world. However, as I got older that dream began to shift to the background of my life. I started working hard for other people’s company giving their dream a 100% investment yet I had no time to nurture my dream.
Something hit me when I decided to write my first poetry book, I realized it was time to get back to what I loved doing. I have always been a writer and it came naturally for me since I was a child. I use to write plays, short stories, poems and so much more. I had one more year left in the military and I already knew I was not going to reenlist. I wanted to start living my passion and dream. In spite of all the personal setbacks that came my way I was determined to finish my book. So, In April of 2007 I self-published my first poetic work of literature. I was proud of myself and ended up being in the local military newspaper.
From this moment on I knew it was time to live my dream fully. I got tired of being burnt out building someone else’s empire. I had to get to a point where I became uncomfortable with giving my all to everyone else except myself. The last ten years has been a journey in pursuing what I love but I know it is worth it. I had some great days and some not so great days but I am proud of myself.
I have no desire to be enslaved to someone else’s idea of what success is for me. As I become wiser I understand I only have one life and spending it my way is important. I remember spending countless of hours marketing and sharing other people’s business and ideas across social media. Instantly, I stopped supporting those who were not supporting me because in the end it was draining. I deserve all the time, love and passion I freely give to others to give back to myself.
Now at this epic place in my life I am choosing me and my dreams. I want you to understand this one simple thing….your dreams should matter to you and making them tangible is important. It should not be enough for you to dream but making it a reality should be your life motivation.
Do not waste your entire life building someone else empire when you have an empire of your own to build. I challenge you today to get started on investing in yourself.
I can attest to the colloquialism of life that it is a journey not a destination. Life is filled with unexpected detours, stop signs, roadblocks, turning lanes and much more. However, in the midst of it all, life is an adventure. In order to live the adventure you mustn’t resist the lessons it has to offer.
I have spent almost a decade trying to adjust to a new life since I left the military in 2008. The journey has been filled with ups and downs but it has equipped me to gain sea legs to weather the storm. I have come to the realization that life is filled with Alice and The Wonderland moments. Every time I tried to resist the ebb and flow of life I would wipe out like a person learning how to surf for the first time.
When you are open to the journey of life it will reveal serendipitous moments. These moments will lead you to your destiny. Your destiny may lead you to great adventures and opportunities. Life is not made for the person who love comfort zones instead it challenges you to get out your comfort zone. Comfort zones are security blankets that keep you stagnant.
Stagnancy leads to a life filled with no adventure, boredom, fear and lack. Lack creates a feeling of dissatisfaction which leads to discontentment. As you muddle through your journey be flexible in the ways that life will unfold.
On a starry night I watch the clouds part easily, making a path for the moonlight that glistened upon my face. I thought about how dreamy and magical the moon danced across the sky. The moon was captivating all own its own. It did not need any special entrance because it did what it was supposed to do every night. I found myself thinking how the moon was not sacred to be itself among the other stars. In some crazy way, the moon knew how special it really was to the solar system because without it nighttime would not be the same. Just like the moon, we could learn that our dreams, purpose and passion in life have a specific role in the universe. When we defer our dreams we minimize who we are solely to become a figment of someone else imagination of what our life should embody. Many of us wanted to become someone great before we started to believe the lies about who we were not. We allowed the lies to shape our world so we became a stain glass, beautiful on the outside empty inside. The emptiness is due to the fear of living our dreams. For some of us it has become easier to live in a comfort zone than to defy the odds and explore the thing that sets our soul on fire.
I can fondly remember when I decided to leave the military lifestyle and venture out into the wild….the real world. I was uncomfortable because the military lifestyle had become a safety net. The military was a place where I had a support system and endless resources to accomplish my career goals. However, after nine years of serving in the US Navy I was no longer happy with the career path I chose to pursue. I knew I needed my personal freedom to do what I wanted to do on my own terms. So, I created my wings of bravery to live out my dream of being an author and writer. I cannot lie to you I was afraid, I failed plenty of times but I could no longer just exist.
You may wonder, did I allow failure to stop me? Well, to be honest for a moment the failure did stop me but then I wondered what I learned from my failure. I learned what success was and was not. It helped me become wiser, stronger and confident to try the journey again and again until I accomplished my purpose in life.
When we decide to not live our dream we hinder other people dreams. How so you might ask? Well, when we live our dreams in spite of the setbacks we give other people permission to live their dreams unafraid. We give them hope, inspiration and courage to do what they love no matter what other people think. In 2016, I challenge you to defy the odds and live your dreams no matter what happens. What do you have to lose? Nothing at all!