Thriving In The Winter

Although we are in the second month of winter, spring is getting closer, and the anticipation of warmer weather is beckoning our senses. Nonetheless, winter is a beautiful time to slow down, reflect, and collect your thoughts.

Two years ago, I decided to stop running away from winter and embrace the lessons it was trying to teach me. And now winter has become one of my favorite seasons. Many of us dislike the cold, bitter, and uncomfortable season, but what if winter could be a time for you to thrive and grow into a better version of yourself?

Winter has been a time to let go of the past, press into the present, and get ecstatic about the future. When you welcome every season of life, it can take you on an exciting journey.

Below are a simple ways to thrive in the winter and let go of a survival mentality.

• Take time to rest.
• Make a list of goals that you want to accomplish for the winter season.
• Find time to implement things you like to do (reading, yoga, be in nature..)
• Build community (yoga classes, book clubs, therapy etc.), www.eventbrite.com (great website to look up events and connect with the community you are looking for)
• Create a winter playlist
• Take some college courses just for fun
• Connect with personal development tools (life coach, memberships, books..)
• Slowdown and be present (social media detox or spend a couple hours off your phone)
• Become a foodie (enjoy different local restaurants with good food and company)
• Book a staycation to reset you mind, body and soul
• Do a movie marathon (list your fav movies & schedule a date with yourself to watch them for a month)
• Schedule a Spa Night In (buy face masks, foot masks and enjoy the experience)
• Eat outside (winter is the perfect time to take your lunch break outdoors to admire the beauty of mother nature)
• Declutter your home
• Shop for new clothes/loungewear to prepare for Spring

Celebrating Winter Solstice

Winter solstice is when the days are shorter, darkness settles on the Earth, the weather seems colder, and hibernation is ideal. However, the winter can be a time of rest, stillness, and reflection.

I remember growing up in Detroit, Michigan, where winter lasts longer than any other season. I vowed never to live somewhere that winter existed. And so I kept that promise to myself, finding myself running away from the brutal cold. But upon relocating to Virginia at the beginning of this year, I realized it was time to confront my resentment of winter.

Whether hot, cold, or warm, every season has a specific time. I knew that as much as I loathed winter, it was time to embrace its significant role in my life.

Through my self-discovery, I learn winter is a time when I can slow down, meditate and reflect on my growth. With the end of 2022, I’m deciding to celebrate the onset of winter and not travel for the holidays. I decided to go into 2023 refresh, free and focused.

Over the years, I spent so much time on autopilot throughout the year, barely taking time to pause. But the older I get I want more moments of reflection. The winter solstice can give you time to prepare for the upcoming year in a calm, relaxing, and rejuvenating way.

So before you take a resentful path towards winter, figure out how to use this time to refocus and plan for your 2023.

Dwell In The Possibilities

You can access this episode here: https://tinyurl.com/2hra66mb

Life serves us with many distractions that lure us away from the things we desire to accomplish. The goal is to do less of what makes us miserable and more of what sets our soul on fire. How can we achieve this simple feat? What if we were brave enough to let go of our comfort zones and dwell in the possibilities of following the yellow brick road of dreams. Yes, this may seem impossible, but dwelling in the possibilities is about dreaming big, planning, and relinquishing control over the outcome.

It has only been three weeks since I sold my home and started my journey in road-tripping adventures. I have learned a lot about myself and strengthening my relationship with my daughter in these short weeks. I can’t believe this has brought us joy, laughter, and small lessons along the way. Although the journey has been scary, it has taught me the power of dwelling in the possibilities. What does it mean to dwell in the possibilities? Well, it can mean multiple things however, the core of this belief system is about optimism. When we stay optimistic in spite of external situations, we can stay hopeful for serendipitous moments. 

If you are ready to break some miserable cycles in your life and dive into the possibilities follow the yellow brick road to the steps below:

1. Detox yourself from your comfort zone.  Nothing grows from a comfort zone, so you have to be willing to let go of the past, stop revisiting those familiar people, places, and things. And enhance your spiritual well-being. 
2. Distractions are oxymorons. Sometimes distractions can take you left or right. However, you have to determine no matter the disruption; everything is working out in your favor.
3. Wander into the Wild. If you are bold enough to kiss the past goodbye, it will introduce you to a new hello. When you wander from the familiar, it will give you the gift of hope that leads to the possibilities of an unbelievable life.

Are you ready to dwell into the possibilities of your life?

Be Okay With Uncertainty…

Access podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/yu9ufz57

The beauty about uncertainty is no matter how well we plan, there will always be question marks on how the journey will unfold. Sometimes we allow the fear of the unknown to keep us from pursuing our dreams and the life we constantly desired to live. However, if we focus on the journey instead of the destination, we will realize that embracing the hidden parts will help us accept life’s adventures.

Currently, I am going through an unfamiliar phase in my life, and it has taught me how to embrace the unknown. Sometimes we feel as if we need to know how everything will turn out, but in reality, we have no idea how life will unfold.

As I go through this new normal many emotions, appear from happiness, fear, excitement, and anxiety. However, I am enjoying this unpredictable place because it has given me confidence, courage, and resilience to move forward. I am self-assured that the answers will come, and everything will fall into place.

I have learn no matter how many plans you make, life will teach you how to be flexible. The flexibility provides an atmosphere of freedom but it can make you feel powerless. We fear the unknown because it forces us out of our comfort zone. And significant changes happen when we are in unfamiliar territory. When you can embrace the uncertainty, then you will encounter countless adventures in your life. 

Here are three ways to embrace uncertainty:

1. Make plans but be flexible. 

2. Let go of the need to have all the answers. Life is an adventure when you are open to the flow & knowing everything will work out.

3. Don’t settle. A lot of people settle for the familiar because they are not willing to be uncomfortable. However, if you desire to live your dream life taking risk are a prerequisite.

Be Raw, Be Flawed, Be You!

When you look at a rock you see nothing exciting or beautiful about its features. A rock has no human form, people would consider it to be cold and aloof.  Yet a rock is apart of God’s creation just like a flower. However, we may say that a flower is more beautiful than a rock because of the outside features.

Nonetheless, just like a rock some people are hard on the outside yet beauty lies within. You never know what transpired in their life to make them bitter. Their bitterness is an accessory expressing their hurt.

I remember a period in my life where I accessorize bitterness. My heart was harden by traumatic experiences that happened. I was tired of life disappointing me over and over again. So, I created walls around my heart. I thought if I became emotionally unavailable then I would not get hurt. My elusive behavior kept me from love & fully living.

As I look back on my life I realize I was who I needed to be at that time. I understand that regretting who I was in the past does not serve me. I was raw, flawed and me. Those who saw me as a mess didn’t understand I was a rough draft. My blueprint of greatness was still pending.

Many times we judge ourselves for the raw version of who we are instead of being gentle with ourselves. When you are raw it forces you to be real; unrefined and unpolished. For instance, when a new singer produce their first album it is appealing because their vocals are unfiltered. Once they become commercialized they lose their authenticity; the record label want them to go with an image or sound that sells records versus talent. Growth is a beautiful thing but I never want to lose the thing that makes me relatable.

So, I urge you to be raw, be flawed & be you even if it is ugly right now. Don’t regret the rough draft you are at this moment. As you pursue a better version of yourself you will begin to peel back the blueprint so people can see you….the masterpiece!

Your Dreams Matter….

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”~Henry David Thoreau~

Why is it when we get older we lose our imagination? We start to live life in reality and forget our childlike nature. It amazes me as we grow up we lose the sense of our imagination. When I was a child I had a dream of being a writer and traveling around the world. However, as I got older that dream began to shift to the background of my life. I started working hard for other people’s company giving their dream a 100% investment yet I had no time to nurture my dream.

Something hit me when I decided to write my first poetry book, I realized it was time to get back to what I loved doing. I have always been a writer and it came naturally for me since I was a child. I use to write plays, short stories, poems and so much more. I had one more year left in the military and I already knew I was not going to reenlist. I wanted to start living my passion and dream. In spite of all the personal setbacks that came my way I was determined to finish my book. So, In April of 2007 I self-published my first poetic work of literature. I was proud of myself and ended up being in the local military newspaper.

From this moment on I knew it was time to live my dream fully. I got tired of being burnt out building someone else’s empire. I had to get to a point where I became uncomfortable with giving my all to everyone else except myself. The last ten years has been a journey in pursuing what I love but I know it is worth it. I had some great days and some not so great days but I am proud of myself.

I have no desire to be enslaved to someone else’s idea of what success is for me. As I become wiser I understand I only have one life and spending it my way is important. I remember spending countless of hours marketing and sharing other people’s business and ideas across social media. Instantly, I stopped supporting those who were not supporting me because in the end it was draining. I deserve all the time, love and passion I freely give to others to give back to myself.

Now at this epic place in my life I am choosing me and my dreams. I want you to understand this one simple thing….your dreams should matter to you and making them tangible is important. It should not be enough for you to dream but making it a reality should be your life motivation.

Do not waste your entire life building someone else empire when you have an empire of your own to build. I challenge you today to get started on investing in yourself. 

The End of An Era……

Wow, I can’t believe next week Sunday is my birthday. My 30’s journey has been a beautiful evolution of “self”. I have been able to spend the years of my thirties facing issues of my past, closing the door to my past, making intentional changes to my life and most of all becoming the woman I desire to be.

As a single mom I have endured many hardships and personal setbacks but my 30’s have been my years of reflection, refreshing, starting over again and creating the life I desire.

I have become comfortable in my own skin. I love the woman I have evolved into at this point in my life. However, I know the journey is a continuous process. I am excited about my future ahead.

Since, I am commemorating the last year of my 30’s, I am sharing 39 lessons with you I learned during my 30’s journey.

Here are the 39 lessons I learned in my 30’s:
1. Confidence. Confidence is something that starts within & it is something you work on everyday.
2. No validation needed. You are grown,stop asking for permission.
3. No is a complete sentence. Stop explaining yourself.
4. Mind your own business. It never matters what others are doing. Stay focused on your life.
5. No deprivation. Stop depriving yourself of the things you love & desire.
6. Know Your Worth. You have to know your worth to know what you deserve then you will stop giving discounts to people who undermine your quality.
7. Self-care is important. Self-care is about preservation. You have to put it into practice for all areas of your life (mental, emotional, financial, physical & spiritual).
8. Trust God. 
9. Get out your own way.
10. Ask for help.
11. Be gentle with yourself you are doing the best you can.
12. Stop procrastinating.
13. Do it afraid.
14. Get out your comfort zone.
15. Be your own best friend.
16. Speak up. You have a voice use it.
17. Stop chasing. You don’t have to chase a man, friends, people or dreams. All the things meant for you will come at the right time.
18. Travel somewhere new. 
19. Date yourself.
20. Believe in yourself.
21. Do what is best for you.
22. Be unapologetic about your greatness.
22. Set boundaries.
23. Spend time with those that celebrate you not tolerate you.
24. Celebrate yourself.
25. Be patience.
26. Saunter through life.
27. Let things flow.
28. Detach yourself from the outcome.
29. Stop the comparison. When you learn to value your life you will feel no need to compare your life to others.
30. Have faith.
31. Smile often, Laugh more.
32. Have fun. Include more bliss, pleasure & enjoyment in your life.
33. Be ok with not being ok.
34. Be vulnerable.
35. Live life. Don’t just exist live your life alive.
36. Reinvent yourself.
37. Reflect.
38. Pursue your dreams. No matter how old you are you can always pursue the things you desire.
39. Be limitless. Don’t put limitations on your life.

Losing The Weight…..

When you think of the words “losing the weight” I am sure a flood of ideas come to your mind. These three words can be interpreted in various ways but, for me losing the weight has been my 2018 journey. In the last five months I have found myself lost in translation, no longer identifying with my old system of beliefs but embracing new beliefs. The things I allowed to define me no longer could fit into my new belief system.

Fear was a weight that held me back from living my best life. Once I began to lose the weight of fear I began to see my life unfold. When you allow fear to run your life you stay in a comfort zone. And you know nothing brilliant or great grows from comfort zones.

Below is a few ideas to help you lose the weight of fear:

1. Do It Afraid. In order to face your fears you have to be brave enough to do it in the midst of your fear.

2. Assess Your Beliefs. More than likely what you fear is not supported by truth or fact so let it go and collect new data. F.E.A.R is False Evidence Appearing Real!

3. Feed Faith, Starve Fears. In order to weaken the hold of fear you have to be willing to starve it and feed your life with faith which creates confidence.

4. Rock Confidence. Fear can’t reside where confidence overrides. In order to fear-less you have to believe in yourself. Confidence gives you the faith to conquer fear.

So, which idea will you use this week to help you lose the weight of fear. Comment below in the comment section…

 

The Importance of Reinventing Yourself…

In the last three months I can truly say I have been on an inner personal journey . I am learning how to face my fears, be vulnerable and communicate in an authentic way. Nonetheless, each journey has introduced me to a different me. I am evolving out of my cocoon and flourishing into a beautiful butterfly. I know as I evolve reinvention becomes an important part of the journey. Reinvention is the key to growth in life.

If you think about it companies are always reinventing their brands to appeal to different demographics. Companies take time to reassess what has worked for their brand and what has not worked for them. Just like a company, we should always reassess ourselves to see what methods in our lives are working and which ones need to be eliminated. Reinvention is the answer to transforming our lives into something new.

Below I will share three concepts on why reinventing yourself is so important.

1) Pain changes you. When we endure a tragedy in our lives it has the power to change us. I remember in 2007 when my two-year old daughter died it changed my life forever.  The power of losing a loved one changed my perspective on life. Pain causes you to step back, assess your lose and recreate a better you.

2) Starting Over. Sometimes it is hard to start over but starting over gives you a new outlook on life. It opens you up to many possibilities of living a life of adventure.

3) Nothing grows from a comfort zone. If you find yourself frustrated, irritated or annoyed nine times out of ten you are outgrowing the space you occupy. Many people allow fear to keep them hostage to their comfort zone. The biggest thing I have learned is that comfort zones are great but nothing phenomenal or extraordinary grows out of them.

 

Pain, starting over and escaping your comfort zone are essential things that help you reinvent your life. Reinventing yourself is important so it can unlock extraordinary things. So today, I challenge you to evolve past the norm and be intentional about reinventing an area of your life that seems stagnant. Once you begin the process you will  see life from a different perspective!

Life Is An Adventure….

At the end of 2017,  I learned a valuable lesson concerning the complexity of life. The lesson taught me to embrace all the things life has to offer. It is easy for us to celebrate the good things but can we rejoice in tribulation.

Everything we endure in life is meant to help us grow and expand our horizon. True, sometimes the difficult times make it hard to celebrate. But when life brings unexpected moments we have to realize the messy parts make life interesting.

The messy parts challenge us to see our lives as a perfect masterpiece curated by God. As our lives are designed by every path we begin to understand that it is an adventure.

Life’s adventures gives us the passion to experience each moment. Instead of rushing through the moments we start to saunter. Sauntering ignites self-awareness; being present in the moment. When we are totally present our senses become alive.

Whether good or bad life is an adventure worth experiencing. Without the experiences life beomes mundane. So, if your life seems hopeless right now just remember your next adventure is waiting. All you have to do is embrace it and enjoy the ride!