Thriving In The Winter

Although we are in the second month of winter, spring is getting closer, and the anticipation of warmer weather is beckoning our senses. Nonetheless, winter is a beautiful time to slow down, reflect, and collect your thoughts.

Two years ago, I decided to stop running away from winter and embrace the lessons it was trying to teach me. And now winter has become one of my favorite seasons. Many of us dislike the cold, bitter, and uncomfortable season, but what if winter could be a time for you to thrive and grow into a better version of yourself?

Winter has been a time to let go of the past, press into the present, and get ecstatic about the future. When you welcome every season of life, it can take you on an exciting journey.

Below are a simple ways to thrive in the winter and let go of a survival mentality.

• Take time to rest.
• Make a list of goals that you want to accomplish for the winter season.
• Find time to implement things you like to do (reading, yoga, be in nature..)
• Build community (yoga classes, book clubs, therapy etc.), www.eventbrite.com (great website to look up events and connect with the community you are looking for)
• Create a winter playlist
• Take some college courses just for fun
• Connect with personal development tools (life coach, memberships, books..)
• Slowdown and be present (social media detox or spend a couple hours off your phone)
• Become a foodie (enjoy different local restaurants with good food and company)
• Book a staycation to reset you mind, body and soul
• Do a movie marathon (list your fav movies & schedule a date with yourself to watch them for a month)
• Schedule a Spa Night In (buy face masks, foot masks and enjoy the experience)
• Eat outside (winter is the perfect time to take your lunch break outdoors to admire the beauty of mother nature)
• Declutter your home
• Shop for new clothes/loungewear to prepare for Spring

Taking A Personal Sabbatical

During November and December, the holidays are beginning to roll around, and in this subtle moment, life becomes a little slower and more meaningful. The world starts to feel the joy of the holiday spirit as you realize spending time with the ones you love is essential. Although society capitalizes on marketing the commercialization of Christmas, this holiday season is about joy, love, and peace on Earth. 

I took a road trip to visit my family recently, which was the best thing I decided to do. I knew after relocating, staying with a friend temporarily, and establishing a new career path, a mental reset was vital for me. I was determined to get some rest, let go of the past six months, and relish a new beginning. However, I knew taking a personal sabbatical was the motivation I needed to move forward. 

The holiday season is the perfect time to reset and incorporate a sabbatical in your life. A sabbatical is a period of rest or time away. It is beneficial to reflect on the past moments in the year and begin to prepare for the year ahead. I encourage you to opt out of the busyness and tap into rest and enjoyment for the holiday season.

Here are a couple ways to start your holiday sabbatical:

1. Take a month away from social media in November or December.
2. Keep track of your sleep schedule (with a sleep app such as Calm or Samsung Health)
3. Make a list your favorite Christmas movies to watch or get a subscription to Frndly for the Hallmark Channel. (I pay only 6.99 annually to enjoy Hallmark)

Here are a couple of blog post to prepare you for the holiday season:

Embracing A Season of Hygge

The Art of The Pause…..

Generating Gratitude Daily…..

Also if you need a dose of self-care this year get my book, 28 Days of Love: A Self-Love Journey. (Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and whereever you enjoy buying your favorite books).

Out With The Old, In With The New

“A fallen leaf is nothing more than a summer’s wave goodbye.”-Unknown

This is officially the last week of summer before we usher in the autumnal equinox. As we wave goodbye to summer, we can use this week to reflect on lessons learned, things accomplished, and what we desire for the upcoming season. It is never easy saying goodbye to the warm weather, summer vacations, and family time; however, Autumn is one of my favorite seasons of the year, which gives me time to slow down, rest, and hit reset. 

When I think of Autumn, I think of days becoming shorter, nights becoming longer, and spending more time reading, getting cozy, and drinking hot cocoa and tea. As Autumn begins, it is a time of abundance, harvest, and starting something new. In the last few months, I have been transforming from the old version and diving into a softer side of myself. I no longer wanted to cultivate hardship, suffering, and struggle. It was time to embody my new version, leading me to a softer, carefree, and refined lifestyle. And so, I decided to let go of summer gracefully and welcome Autumn with open arms. 

Simply letting go of the old and ushering in the new… 

Here are a few ways you can celebrate the arrival of the Autumn season:

Make a list of your favorite Fall movies.

Make a list of books you want to read.

Research local events, festivals, and concerts in your area.

Decorate your home for the Fall season.

Declutter your closet and determine what new pieces you will add to your Fall wardrobe.

Grocery shop for your favorite tea or hot cocoa.

Create an Autumn playlist. (check out mine here: https://tinyurl.com/wz9ad4f2 )

Love Notes….

• Ready to spend time reconnecting with yourself? Check out my new book here: https://tinyurl.com/2w4n57sj
• Soft Girl Era Toolkit (For the woman who desires more ease, elegance and enjoyment in your everyday life): https://payhip.com/stylicia/collection/the-soft-girl-era-toolkit

Celebrating Winter Solstice

Winter solstice is when the days are shorter, darkness settles on the Earth, the weather seems colder, and hibernation is ideal. However, the winter can be a time of rest, stillness, and reflection.

I remember growing up in Detroit, Michigan, where winter lasts longer than any other season. I vowed never to live somewhere that winter existed. And so I kept that promise to myself, finding myself running away from the brutal cold. But upon relocating to Virginia at the beginning of this year, I realized it was time to confront my resentment of winter.

Whether hot, cold, or warm, every season has a specific time. I knew that as much as I loathed winter, it was time to embrace its significant role in my life.

Through my self-discovery, I learn winter is a time when I can slow down, meditate and reflect on my growth. With the end of 2022, I’m deciding to celebrate the onset of winter and not travel for the holidays. I decided to go into 2023 refresh, free and focused.

Over the years, I spent so much time on autopilot throughout the year, barely taking time to pause. But the older I get I want more moments of reflection. The winter solstice can give you time to prepare for the upcoming year in a calm, relaxing, and rejuvenating way.

So before you take a resentful path towards winter, figure out how to use this time to refocus and plan for your 2023.

Disappointments Can Lead To Adventure….

Have you ever been disappointed or felt like what you desired and what you got were out of sync? 

I am sure we all have faced the reality of disappointment at one time or another in our lives. We may have been disappointed by the people, places, and expectations we set for our lives. However, I have realized that disappointments are a part of life, and instead of allowing them to make me bitter, angry, or fear the unknown, I have the power to let the disappointments of life lead me to the life of my dreams.

Disappointment has been a big part of my life. It started when I decided to leave home and venture into adulthood. My first encounter with disappointment started in my 20s with romantic relationships and friendships. I desperately wanted a man to love, appreciate and find me worthy, but I didn’t realize this experience was a massive disappointment because I didn’t require this of myself. Then the next uncomfortable moment of my life was learning the art of female friendships. I was tired of insecure women trying to compete; instead, I desired friends who wanted to celebrate, encourage and collaborate. However, when I started to set boundaries and work on my self-worth, I knew it was bringing me closer to my authenticity.

The most challenging chapter of disappointment I endured was when my two-year-old daughter died. I stopped believing in life’s whimsical, romantic things and allowed bitterness to create a prison of fear and hopelessness. But after all I endured, I had the right to feel disappointed by people, society, and everything at that time. 

So you may wonder, what did I do to let disappointment become a motivation to help me embrace a life of adventure? 

I decided to let it help me identify things I didn’t want in my life and start spending more time focusing on what I wanted in my life and making a plan to pursue those desires. I believe we spend so much time on our disappointments, creating stagnancy and hopelessness. As adults, we lose our childlike imagination and joy of living life whimsically. You have the creative ability to let every disappointment lead you to the adventure your life deserves.

Trust Your Dopeness

The essential thing I have learned in my life is when a person is insecure, they will use words of discouragement to tear down your confidence. When I wasn’t aware of my dopeness, I would minimize my greatness to make others feel more important, but deep inside, I was suffering. My suffering led to people-pleasing, self-sabotage, and not feeling worthy or enough.

When I began to cultivate self-worth, let go of self-sabotaging behaviors and flow into a self-confident version of myself, others became threatened. I was no longer dimming my light for them to feel better about themselves. I decided to love myself, face my inner issues and let go of my insecurities.  

However, I believe we all have to face the ugly mask of insecurity in our lives, but when these inner issues are unchecked, it creates self-misery. I have learned over the last year that insecure women are fixated on being accepted and validated by others. Their greatest fear is not being liked, so they migrate to the people-pleasing lane, and when another woman radiates confidence, she will spew words of hate to disempower another woman.

Although friendships have withered away, I understand that losing myself is no longer an option. Trusting your dopeness means walking in your confidence and being unapologetic about who you are.

Here are a couple ways you can embrace being “that girl” and exercise your dopeness.

1. Be Authentic: Know who you are, walk in your power and maximize your voice.
2. Be Unapologetic: God created you to be the best verison of yourself even when others don’t embrace you.
3.  Be Around People Who Want To See You Win: When you are around people who want to see you win then, the conversations are different. Make sure you let go of toxic connections in your life (heal from toxicity).

Living A Soft Luxurious Life

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/45pef69b

It is never easy to have a life filled with challenges, losses, and heartbreak. However, you get to decide how you want your life to be and feel each day. Each moment, you have to be willing to let go of the past and create a future that aligns with the person you desire to be. And who you choose to be is specifically up to what you are willing to invest in yourself.

Thirteen years ago, my life was on a rollercoaster of ups and downs where feeling vibrant and happy was buried underneath heaviness. The heaviness came from the death of losing my two-year-old daughter, losing friendships, and eventually not recognizing myself. Despite the struggles, I knew I had a choice to allow the pain to define me or find joy in the pain. After different processes and inner healing, I decided to let go of the struggle and embrace ease amid challenges.

We know that life doesn’t always look or feel like a wonderland, but a life of luxury can happen if we implement moments of pleasure and ease. If you look up the word luxury, it is defined as the state of great comfort and extravagant living. How can you live comfortably or extravagantly when things are falling apart? First, you have to be willing to change your perspective and give up the concept that struggling is a way of life.

Lately, I have been researching a “soft” life movement. According to the urban dictionary, a soft life is making stress-free decisions and choices that will align with your peace of mind. And now is the time to embrace the luxury of a gentler life even when challenges arise. 

Here are a couple of ways to live a soft luxurious life without breaking the bank.

1. Create Luxurious Moments.

Every day, add a little luxury to your day:

• Reading your favorite book for fifteen minutes
• Taking a short walk in nature
• Sitting in complete silence

Luxury is a state of mind, not money.

2. Prioritize Your Peace. Make up in your mind that your peace is non-negotiable and eliminate anything that disturbs your peace (people & environments).

3. Embrace Ease. Everything doesn’t have to be complicated or a struggle, so make better decisions that will help you save time and money and be at peace.

4. Flow Into Your Feminine Energy. It is essential to tap into the power that your feminine essence holds, whether slowing down, listening to music, or creating movement in your body; these things will help you become rooted in your feminine power.

5. Release The Past & Embrace The Future. Be willing to let go of the past version of yourself to tap into your future self.

Elevating Through The Growing Pains

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/k6wtbh9w

It never feels good to feel discomfort, uneasiness or being out of your comfort zone; however, to soar to new levels in your life, you have to be willing to trek through the growing pains. Growing pains often stretch your capacity, build character and force you to face the uncomfortable. The biggest lesson I have learned is that growing pains is vital to your evolution. For example, I decided to stay with a friend after relocating, but the transition was challenging because my daughter and I gave up our privacy and personal space. And it was eye-opening because it revealed why living with friends can sometimes create pressure within the relationship. Overall, the journey made us stronger, wiser, and better along the way.

When life is challenging, it causes us to grow to a deeper level in our lives. We are encouraged to become a better version of ourselves. I believe growth happens when we take a leap of faith and decide to leave our comfort zones. Although my journey has come with stress, wins, and aha moments, I realize I would not be where I am today. Growing pains are never easy, but they are worth the evolution you experience mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Below are some tips you can apply to help you use your life challenges as stepping stones to an upgraded and elevated life.

1. Be kind to yourself during the process. Sometimes the way we desire our life to transpire isn’t the way we experience it, so it is essential to be kind to yourself when life is not kind to you.
2. Have Faith. Faith is having an unshakable trust and confidence in the intangible. When you exercise you faith in adverse situations it gives you the strength to move forward even when it is hard.
3. Be better, not bitter. It is easy to be upset when people, things & circumstances are against you, but it is better to take every bad life experience as a lesson to create a more assertive character within yourself.
4. Detach Yourself. Sometimes we have to remove ourselves from people, environments, and situations that stunt our growth, contaminate our peace of mind, and violate our mental health. Detachment is a form of self-love.
5. Evolve to Elevate. To upgrade your life, you have to be willing to evolve through all the hurt, pain, and joy that motivates you to become an extraordinary version of yourself.

Be Okay With Uncertainty…

Access podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/yu9ufz57

The beauty about uncertainty is no matter how well we plan, there will always be question marks on how the journey will unfold. Sometimes we allow the fear of the unknown to keep us from pursuing our dreams and the life we constantly desired to live. However, if we focus on the journey instead of the destination, we will realize that embracing the hidden parts will help us accept life’s adventures.

Currently, I am going through an unfamiliar phase in my life, and it has taught me how to embrace the unknown. Sometimes we feel as if we need to know how everything will turn out, but in reality, we have no idea how life will unfold.

As I go through this new normal many emotions, appear from happiness, fear, excitement, and anxiety. However, I am enjoying this unpredictable place because it has given me confidence, courage, and resilience to move forward. I am self-assured that the answers will come, and everything will fall into place.

I have learn no matter how many plans you make, life will teach you how to be flexible. The flexibility provides an atmosphere of freedom but it can make you feel powerless. We fear the unknown because it forces us out of our comfort zone. And significant changes happen when we are in unfamiliar territory. When you can embrace the uncertainty, then you will encounter countless adventures in your life. 

Here are three ways to embrace uncertainty:

1. Make plans but be flexible. 

2. Let go of the need to have all the answers. Life is an adventure when you are open to the flow & knowing everything will work out.

3. Don’t settle. A lot of people settle for the familiar because they are not willing to be uncomfortable. However, if you desire to live your dream life taking risk are a prerequisite.

Pursuing Your Dream

 

How many times have you looked at your life and realize you are not living the life you desire? Did someone tell you that your dream was unattainable? Or did you let society dictate to you what was more important in your life?

When we are children, we believe we can be anything we desire to be in life. No matter how ridiculous our dreams may seem, as a child, we believe in our thoughts. As we shift into the teenage years, we start to let society dictate to us which journey will be profitable. We begin to focus on reality instead of the desire of our dreams.

The child inside of us starts to disappear because reality becomes more important than our childhood dreams. Our lives no longer hold enthusiasm or passion; instead, our adulthood has made us apathetic. We begin to forget about the vision we had to live a life full of wonder, passion, and excitement. Our dreams have become faint whispers needing a fresh breath. What can we do to resuscitate our passion for pursuing our dreams?

• The first step to pursuing your dream is to reconnect with your childhood dreams. When I was young, I enjoyed writing, and I remember my Uncle Dave would always tell me I was going to be a famous writer. I remember in 2003 while living in Sicily, my love for writing reignited when I read Maya Angelou’s poem “Phenomenal Woman” for open mic night. Four years later, I published my first poetry book. The little girl on the inside of me reconnected back with my lifelong dream to become a writer. It was up to me to answer the call!
• The second step is to write a list of the the things that stopped you from pursuing your dreams. After you recognize the roadblocks begin to write a list of possibilities of following your dreams. (For example: Roadblock: I stopped pursuing my dream of painting because I didn’t think I was a great artist. Possibility: I can start taking art classes at a local gallery to brush up on my artistic skills.)
• The last step is to surround yourself around people who are living your dream. When you surround yourself around like-minded people you are building a community of support. When you have a support system it fosters a life filled with enjoyment, creativity and success.

So pursue the life you desire instead of burying your dreams. Dreams are meant to be lived out loud!!!