The Self-Care Plan: Bringing It Together (Part 2)

You can access this podcast episode here: https://youtu.be/aPlFEGQCrOU

Definition: Self-care can best be described as the intentional actions that are taken to preserve your mental, emotional and physical well-being.

Self-care is an essential part of your well-being. It plays a valuable role in your mental, emotional & physical health. When you make an intentional effort to preserve your mental, emotional and physical care then it produces healthy results in other areas of your life. When you decide to put your well-being first, it can clarify what stressors affect your mind, body, soul & spirit.

In my self-care journey, I learn how to cope with stress, anxiety & anger. Creating an individual self-care plan has given me a peace of mind during difficult times. When you begin to make yourself a priority, things in your life will shift. No longer will you feel neglected, tired, burnout or unappreciated. Overall, it is a personal responsibility to take care of your well-being. When you try to delegate this responsibility to others, then disappointment and frustration will be a continuous result.

Below I am going to give you guidance on how to bring your self-care plan together.

First Step: In a journal/poster board list all categories for your plan starting with mental, emotional & physical as top categories.

Second Step: The categories will range from 6-8 depending on what specific areas are important to you.

For example your categories may be as follows:

• Mental
• Emotional
• Physical
• Spiritual
• Social/Relational
• Professional
• Recreational
• Financial

Image Reference: https://www.blessingmanifesting.com/2017/07/what-is-self-care.html

Third Step: Once you have listed all your categories then it is time to list your coping strategies. I suggest listing 3 to 5 coping strategies for each category so you will not overwhelm yourself

For example under my mental self-care I would put meditation, prayer, reading inspirational quotes/books etc.

Below is a brief example of my self-care plan…..

• Mental: meditation, prayer, reading inspirational devotions/books
• Emotional: therapy, journaling, setting boundaries
• Physical: walking, being in nature, healthy routine for eating/medical checkups

Once you have finished listing three to five coping strategies, you are done with your self-care plan. You can always add more coping strategies later, but sticking with three to five will help you implement one or two each day during the week. Once you implement a strategy consistently, you will see a change in your life.

*To create your self-care plan you can download the free e-book here: https://payhip.com/b/znTZ *

All or Nothing: Betting On Yourself

You can listen to this episode here: https://youtu.be/rIEIXqquN-A

The new year is here, and we all have so many things we want to accomplish; however, 2021 is a year for me to go all-in on what I desire. I often found myself giving one hundred and ten percent to my family, friends, romantic relationships, and career. Yet, I was always short-changing myself when it came to my life aspirations.

I would spend a lot of time doubting my efforts to succeed and found excuses for not living the life I wanted to live. I distracted myself with helping other people accomplish their dreams while I kept putting my life on hold. Overall, I became dissatisfied with the results in my life. And I realize I had to stop sitting on the sidelines wishing things would be different and get the gumption to create the life I believe I deserve.

After 2020 I realize how important it is to take intentional steps to design a life I enjoy. We spend so much of our time making others happy, but we don’t invest the same effort in our happiness. Your life’s joy and fulfillment should always be a priority.

So I decided that this new year is the start of me going all-in and believing in my potential to produce the extraordinary life I was meant to live. When you invest in yourself, the rate of return will always yield success.

Below are three ways you can bet on yourself and increase your self-worth:

• Say yes to yourself. Saying yes to yourself is having the courage to design a life that makes you feel good and purposeful (finding purpose in the life you are creating).
• Let go of split energy. When you are spreading yourself thin, you produce split energy meaning your actions and words are not congruent. When you commit yourself to everyone else dreams, you self-sabotage your efforts to invest in your own life desires.
• Slow Down. When you take a moment to slow down and pace yourself you can get clarity on what direction you want to go. (slow and steady wins the race…..lesson from The Tortoise and The Hare an Aesop Fable)

Why Being Basic Won’t Do…

The Corona Virus issue has made us feel so many emotions with the ebb and flow of uncertainty; staying at home has become the new normal. This new normal has caused America to put everything on pause where being still is the cure. Many schools have closed around the world, people are now working from home, and some people no longer have a job. Although it can seem to be an uncomfortable time for the world, confronted with the reality that this is the time to let go of things no longer serve our lives.

In America, we are taught that being busy and living life on auto-pilot is acceptable. We choose to operate in a world encumber with a fast-food mentality, a microwave vision for our lives. The self-quarantine gives everyone a chance to slow down, saunter, and come to a shimmer. We no longer can follow the crowd but is challenged to do something different. I believe in this time of  the shutdown, we will not go back to normal.

This transformation will cause us to become a better version of our self. We can start by self-reflecting in every area of our lives. For me, it has taught me the valuable lesson of living in the present moment.

People’s lives are being transformed because we are now finding our passion, spending time with family, connecting with friends, and doing things we were too busy to do. When the curtain rises off this center stage play we call COVID-19, how will we move forward? Will everyone go back to being “basic” or will we embrace our new normal?

Below are three ways we can release ourselves from the “basic life” to the “extraordinary life.”

1. Write The Vision. While being at home, this is a perfect time to write a plan for yourself to make some changes in your life. (Ex: If you decide to start your business now is the time to create your website, draft a business plan, etc.)

2. Execute. There is no time like the present to start being intention by putting action in your new life. Use this time to start capitalizing on not being at work. (Ex: If you are working from home, let your paycheck build up, so when all this comes to an end, you will have enough saved to live your job.)

3. Live. Before the Corona Virus, many of us were going through the motions of life; however, with the shutdown of social events and going out; we will be more present in our lives. We will have more fun living life versus existing in it.

In the end, I am optimistic the self-quarantine will bring out a better America, where we are healing, there is more joy, peace, kindness & love to spread!

 

Life Is An Adventure….

At the end of 2017,  I learned a valuable lesson concerning the complexity of life. The lesson taught me to embrace all the things life has to offer. It is easy for us to celebrate the good things but can we rejoice in tribulation.

Everything we endure in life is meant to help us grow and expand our horizon. True, sometimes the difficult times make it hard to celebrate. But when life brings unexpected moments we have to realize the messy parts make life interesting.

The messy parts challenge us to see our lives as a perfect masterpiece curated by God. As our lives are designed by every path we begin to understand that it is an adventure.

Life’s adventures gives us the passion to experience each moment. Instead of rushing through the moments we start to saunter. Sauntering ignites self-awareness; being present in the moment. When we are totally present our senses become alive.

Whether good or bad life is an adventure worth experiencing. Without the experiences life beomes mundane. So, if your life seems hopeless right now just remember your next adventure is waiting. All you have to do is embrace it and enjoy the ride!

 

 

 

 

Believe In Yourself!

I am often reminded of a powerful quote by Marianne Williamson (from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles) that says: 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

After reading this quote I realize their is power in believing in yourself. When you hear people say believe in yourself what comes to your mind? Well, when I think of this term I am reminded how important it is to have faith. Faith is essential in the process of believing in yourself & your greatness. Often we battle with insecurities and achieving great success because we do not have a belief in who & what we are. Self doubt causes us to believe we are inadequate which launches the path to fear. When fear is activated it stifles our growth and creativity. 

However, when you do not allow fear to override your faith great things begin to happen. One of the things that begin to manifest is your confidence is increased. The second thing is it teaches you not to give up on your dreams no matter how long it takes. Lastly, giving up is never an option when you allow faith to conquer the fear of your belief.

Below are 3 steps you can take to believe in yourself:

1) Faith It To You Make It! 

In Hebrews 11: 1 in the bible it says, “Now faith is the substance for things hoped for the evidence of things not seen” which literally means what you cannot see(unexpected outcome you cannot visualize). If you begin to have faith in yourself & believe in your success then it can be accomplished. Put faith in practice! 

2) Get Turnt Up! 

In today’s millennial world we are endlessly unhappy about everything instead of being grateful for all things. If you learn to be grateful for all that you are then you can appreciate yourself. The best way to appreciate yourself is by celebrating all that you are. If you wait on others you will be disappointed so “get turnt up” on who you are!  

3) Walk It Out!

The road is long to any journey but as you are on your journey of self-discovery & increasing your self esteem remember to take the time to pause. Rome was not built in a day so as you walk out your fear, anxiety or frustrations just remember you are an imperfect masterpiece! 

So take the time to believe in all that you were created to be…..Simply Believe In Yourself!

Restituted Love

I believe love is the most profound emotion that we exude to others. Sometimes we can get the definition of love misconstrued with other things that are not a real representation of love. Love is defined in many aspects but the best definition of love I can gather is according to 1 Corinthians 13 in the Bible. We have all had our idea or perspective of what love is or could possibly be, but when you truly experience love you realize what it really is. So many times in my life I believed that I was in love with the different guys who perused in and out my life. However, I had no clue of what love was until I went on a three year journey of learning to love myself.

Loving yourself is the beginning of discovering the power of love because you begin to accept yourself flaws and all. I spent three years understanding why I kept attracting the same type of guys over and over. The underlying problem was simple I did not love myself at all. I compromised my values, standards, beliefs and ideas to accommodate men who had no intentions of loving me for life. I called my journey, my authentic journey due to the fact I was becoming the person I was always destined to be. The real me was submerging from the cocoon of fear I lived in for years. It was time for me to embrace the woman I was supposed to become all along.

 As I began to love myself I gave myself permission to be free.  I was free to unleash the unadulterated me without anyone’s approval. I dismissed myself from the need to please everyone and understood the need to restitute my love.  Instead of giving my love away to men that did not deserve my love I started to repay myself back with love. And in return of restituting my love to myself I attracted love. No longer am I chasing after love instead love found me and I embraced it wholeheartedly. I can truly say I am in love with the man in my life because he pursued me. The thing that took him by surprise was my contentment in being happily single. He told me I did not look thirsty which meant I did not look desperate for love.

We all deserve love and companionship do not deny yourself what you deserve. However, you first have to learn to love the most important person in your world which is You! Take the needed time to restitute yourself with love; take a year off or more to spend time loving you. I promise, you are worth the investment and your greatest return will be attracting someone who loves you with the same passion.

Find time to restitute yourself with love!

 

Picture Reference: http://fit-radiance.com/752/ 

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Art Is Everywhere!

 

(Pictures taken during my visit at Columbia Museum of Art)

If you spend time to slow down you will notice that the collage of art exist right before your eyes. Art is not just hidden in pictures or paintings but the significance of art is in the atmosphere that surrounds us. It is up to us to appreciate the lessons art has to bring in our lives. I am an avid art lover and believe art help us tap into our creative side. Everyone has a creative being that lies dormant ready to be awaken. When we starve our creative being we become stagnant as our life becomes meaningless or boring. Creativity stimulates the brain releasing a positive flow of positive thoughts or ideas to invade our mind. When positive images or ideas stream through our brain we become motivated to create. I had a chance to introduce my daughter to Columbia Museum of Art. The Columbia Museum of Art is one of the best art museum that I have found. I loved studying the Baroque, Rococo and Roman style pictures from the 18th century to the 20th century. It was refreshing to do something new outside of our normal weekend routine. The experience was unforgettable as we gazed at paintings that represented spirituality, womanhood, childhood and family. Each picture had its own distinct message as each artist used certain colors, locations and expressions to capture their message they wanted to convey to the viewer. Art has a way of telling stories whether real or fictional an artist uses his/her surroundings to inspire their work of art. I challenge you to take a day to visit your local art museums or studios to broaden your cultural awareness. Do not hesitate to take your family to give them an experience that will not only be enjoyable but enlightening as well. Art is everywhere if we open our heart and mind to the creativity around us. 

If you live inside the South Carolina area do not hesitate to visit the Columbia Museum of Art. For more information on exhibitions and events go to: http://www.columbiamuseum.org 

Go Ahead, Take A Day Off!

Sometimes the hustle and bustle of life can be overwhelming due to the demands of life, people and work. However, every now and then you have to be adamant about making quality time with yourself a priority. This week I can truly say I felt overwhelmed and needed some very well deserved me time. I pride myself in trying to live a balanced life but sometimes my life scale is unbalanced and I have to recalibrate it. Today I decided that this weekend would be time for myself only receiving calls from my family and no technology distracts. In a world full of distractions we have to be willing to find our own secret heaven or paradise. So today I decided to buy a magazine, read it and sit in Starbucks sipping my latte. It was such an invigorating moment to know I allowed time to stand still just to nurture my mental being. It felt good to put some things on hold just to take care of myself mentally and emotionally. So I decided once a month maybe every third Saturday would be my day to mentally, emotionally and spiritually rest. Here are some tips on pushing you to create your own personal day off!

Tips To A Day Off…..

TIP #1: Make yourself a priority and schedule your personal time off on your calendar. Pencil yourself in…

TIP #2: Communicate with your spouse, children, boyfriend and loved ones about your day off. So they will understand this is your time and you will not want it to be interrupted.

TIP #3: Do something simple. You may not have the finances to go to the Spa or take a weekend trip but look at the simple things you can do to change your scenery and get away mentally. (Ideas: walk in the park, walking on the beach, reading your favorite magazine or book)

TIP #4: Spend this day to reflect, meditate and not be bothered with any distractions.

TIP #5: Smile and Be Grateful. Having gratitude for another day to appreciate the beauty around is important. A day for you to cherish yourself is also important.

Until Next Time…..Live Bold. Live loud. Live Authentically.

It’s Okay To Try Something New!

When new ideas, concepts, thoughts and creativity come knock on your door you have to be brave enough to embrace “that something new”….~Stylicia~ 

The world around us is full of new things but yet we stick with what has become familiar; our home, friends and family is all familiar. Sometimes we are scared to embrace something new. Newness has its own mystery and self discovery for a person to immerse themselves into wholeheartedly. Today I read a news story on Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr aka Lil’ Wayne who was deciding to retire from his rapping career. He has become well known for his savvy business skills as a business mogul. He has successfully discovered new rappers such as Drake, Tyga and Nicki Minja. He explained in the article how he has been rapping for 22yrs. If you are thinking what I am thinking this is a very long time to be committed to a talent without exploring other things. He also stated in the article once he is committed to something he is committed to it wholeheartedly (100%).  This statement is a reminder for me to never be so committed to something that I cannot break the commitment to do something else. Sometimes certain commitments are worth breaking when you no longer have a zeal to do them anymore. I think about my own life how I have been writing since I was 8yrs old and have committed myself to be the best writer possible. I was committed to being a great poet but I realize I was neglecting other avenues of my gift. I was more than just a poet spitting poems on the stage I was a writer who wanted to see my articles in every well known magazine and newspaper. Its funny, writing college papers has perfected my skills in writing and challenged me to be a better writer. I would get frustrated writing papers in college on subjects that were completely boring. However, in the end it motivated me to do research to bring out a masterpiece paper. I knew in my heart it was time for me to branch out in different avenues other than poetry. I was getting tired of the traveling, not getting paid what I was worth and no one really appreciating my gift. But the epiphany came where I understood I had to appreciate my writing gift enough not to put it in a box. The truth is I have really started to enjoy blogging because it is my own space to write letters of inspiration to myself. When I started blogging two years ago I had no idea where this blog would go but God gave me ideas little by little. The blog started to evolve into my life journey of becoming a woman and becoming authentic. It was a slow process but near the beginning of this year my blogging journey took flight. Even when the blogging fever ends then I will be challenged to explore other new avenues in my writing. Timing is everything when it comes to trying something new in your life. I believe when that clock of dissatisfaction starts to creep in with one thing then its time to start fresh with something else. When the excitement is gone and there is no more butterflies something new may be creeping in your heart. If you have no passion for it anymore then maybe the passion is meant for something else. Overall, do not be fearful to spread your wings to try something new. I believe it is a brave thing to step out embrace the adrenaline rush of trying something new. Go ahead, it’s okay to try something new!

Data Dump:Mental Detox 101 (10 Lessons Learned)

I think therefore I am. ~Rene Descartes~

Recently I decided to do a 10 day mental detox, I had no idea how the journey would go but I knew my end result would be self fulfilling and rewarding. I planned to be in total solitary confinement with no music, only business related phone conversations, no TV, no social media, prayer, meditation & reading positive or inspirational literature. I learned alot about the power of self-love, self-appreciation, dumping out the negative things in my mental thought process, speaking affirmations over my life and being unapologetic about loving myself unconditionally. Below are 10 important lessons I learned about myself and about my mental capacity.

Here are 10 lessons from my mental detox 101:

1)   Dump The Data. The first day I spent time writing down all my self defeating thoughts. So I begin to pour those negative thoughts, concepts and ideas on paper. I purge myself of all the negative things I thought about my future, my goals and about myself.

2) Refresh. I decide to let the negative thoughts go the second day and I hit refresh on my brain. It was time for my computerized mentality to have a blank motherboard. It was time for new data, installing new R.A.M (Random Access To New Memory).

3) Power of Appreciation.  I realized how much I was starving the appreciation I needed to have for myself. I was constantly waiting for friends and insignificant people to appreciate me but I realize I needed to appreciate myself first. It made me realize how special my gift, talent, skill is to the world and I should not give it away for free. It helped me understand to do special things for myself by myself. Those special events & places I deserve to be the first person to experience them alone (my own personal joys). 

4) Power of Investment. If I don’t invest in my greatness how can I attract sowers to sow into my greatness. I am committed to always investing in myself for self improvement mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. No more limitations!

5) Self Love Movement: Self love is a powerful love. Until love is oozing from my pores, this self love journey will never end. Loving myself unconditionally unapologetically! 

6) Purify Me. Stop entertaining negative, toxic things that will easily imprint into my brain. I have to stay mentally clean!

7) Hit Delete. Some mental disruptions are insignificant to  put your  focus on, so weed out the weeds killing your seeds of growth.

8) Let It Flow. Surrounded by so much positivity helped me attract other positive forces like a magnet. When you are mentally positive, positive words flow easily. 

9) Be Fearless. There is no more room for fear I was reminded how being fearless is apart of my physical makeup. I lived in different countries by myself while stationed in the military where fear was never apart of life. I realized how being comfortable is boring, its time to live life on edge again. Adrenaline Rush!

10) Shaking It Up. Shaking up your world with “new” things provokes a change in your mind. It opens your mind to new exciting things. It will help your creativity flow. 

P.S. My mental detox is something I can not afford to do but it is something I committed to do for every month. The first three days of every month I will be in solitary mental confinement. 

So, now I challenge you to take time to do your own Data Dump!