10 Ways To Embrace A Softer Lifestyle

Autumn is always a lovely time to slow down, catch up on rest, read your favorite books, sip tea, and maybe watch your favorite horror movies. However, many of us need to utilize the changing of the four seasons smartly; we find ourselves in speed mode from the beginning to the end of the year. And it often leads to burnout, bitterness, exhaustion, and many other unpleasant things.

Since August, I have been undergoing changes to incorporate a softer lifestyle and define what this means for me. I realize a soft life is all about making different choices to disconnect, detach, and discover new things. The soft life journey has challenged me to release the social media concept and create my idea of what it means.

Below are ten ways you can incorporate a soft lifestyle in your daily life.

1. Disconnect. Sometimes it is better to disconnect from people, places and things that don’t serve your life. If a person, place or environment triggers your personal growth do yourself a favor and say goodbye.
2. Detach. You can still love from a distance while keeping your peace. I have learned that the best way to love others sometimes means staying in your own lane.
3. Discover. Find new place, spaces and faces that connect with who you are now, sometimes growth can be challenging but it feels better when you are around a tribe that supports your higher self.
4. Decide. Most of the time you are only one decision away from choosing the life you desire. Don’t let fear get in the way, take that leap of faith.
5. Delegate. We were not meant to do everything so ask for help or pay someone else to lift the load.
6. Desire. Implement more fun & pleasure in your life.
7. Do’s. Do what you love and want to do.
8. Don’ts. Don’t put limits on yourself, don’t let other’s opinions hinder your journey and don’t try to please others.
9. Dreams. Pursue your dreams and put forth action.
10. Define. You get to create your definition of what a soft lifestyle looks like for you.

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Treat Yourself Like Royalty

Listen to podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/nhatzhmy

Before you can understand how beautiful, complex and intricate you are first you have to break open all those lies you have believed about yourself.

When was the last time you believed positive things about yourself and had someone affirm those positive things?

Lately, I have been reflecting on the painful words people spoke about me. And the saddest part is I started to believe the lies about how other people saw me. I began to see myself in the image of others’ opinions, manipulative comments, and misconceptions.

However, I realized it was generating self-hate. I began to believe that I was not enough or not worthy of good things. I was starting to settle for friendships, relationships, and living a life beneath my standards.

Recently, I had an epiphany about how I was not seeing myself in a clear light, the way God saw me, and the person I am. I knew it was time to let go of the lies, toxic thoughts, and self-hate. Before starting this royal process, I knew digging up unhealthy beliefs was the first step to seeing my royal image.

Before starting your royal journey, here are a few things to start your process.

1. Write a list of ten negative things people have said about you and circle all the ones you start to believe about yourself.
2. Now make a list of ten good things you think about yourself.
3. Ask this question: Are the adverse/toxic people still in your life who said negative things? If so, then why are they in your life? (journal your answer)
4. Another question: How can you disconnect from people who make you feel bad about yourself? (journal your answer)
5. Ways you can rebuild your self-confidence/self-esteem & self-image:

• Therapy 
• Personal Development (books, find supportive communities, join memberships/clubs that foster your enjoyment & passions)
• Get a life coach
• Prayer/Meditation

Finding Your Kefi

Access this podcast epiosde here: https://tinyurl.com/cvf6muc4

I believe we are all on a cosmic spiritual journey trying to search for life’s simple pleasures, joy, passion, and all things that will light up our soul. However, how can we embark on a journey of self-exploration if we constantly are moving further away from the life we want to live. How can we rekindle the spark that we once had about our life?

Reversal Effect….

Sometimes when life throws curveballs, we are confronted with the issue of the reversal effect. The reversal effect is taking a path that isn’t aligning with our life’s dreams, goals, or vision. As we strive to break through the force field of fear, doubt, and discouragement, everything around us begins to look unfamiliar because the curveballs have pushed us into unknown territory. The unknown territory is the unexpected happenings we experience in this journey called life. And so the daunting question becomes, what can I do to get back on track? How can I find my way back?

Finding Your Kefi….

In the Greek culture, the word kefi has multiple meanings, but its translation means the spirit of joy, passion, euphoria, enthusiasm, exuberance, frenzy. When I think of kefi, it reminds me of chemical evolution theory, where simple elements (atoms) transform into complex parts to generate life. Kefi is the chemical bonding agent that helps us find the spark we once lost. It is the intricate agent that we desire to discover to bring fulfillment back to our lives. So how do we go on this voyage to find our kefi?

The Essentials….

• Embrace Rock Bottom. When life gives you lemonades, create a lemonade stand & sell your experiences. (make the best out of what you have)
  
• Embrace Uncertainty. If you are clueless about how to find your way let the unfamiliar be your guide. (create a new normal)
• Embrace Serendipity. Let life unfold organically. (let go of the need to control the outcome)

Below is the movie that inspired this post on the concept of kefi:

All or Nothing: Betting On Yourself

You can listen to this episode here: https://youtu.be/rIEIXqquN-A

The new year is here, and we all have so many things we want to accomplish; however, 2021 is a year for me to go all-in on what I desire. I often found myself giving one hundred and ten percent to my family, friends, romantic relationships, and career. Yet, I was always short-changing myself when it came to my life aspirations.

I would spend a lot of time doubting my efforts to succeed and found excuses for not living the life I wanted to live. I distracted myself with helping other people accomplish their dreams while I kept putting my life on hold. Overall, I became dissatisfied with the results in my life. And I realize I had to stop sitting on the sidelines wishing things would be different and get the gumption to create the life I believe I deserve.

After 2020 I realize how important it is to take intentional steps to design a life I enjoy. We spend so much of our time making others happy, but we don’t invest the same effort in our happiness. Your life’s joy and fulfillment should always be a priority.

So I decided that this new year is the start of me going all-in and believing in my potential to produce the extraordinary life I was meant to live. When you invest in yourself, the rate of return will always yield success.

Below are three ways you can bet on yourself and increase your self-worth:

• Say yes to yourself. Saying yes to yourself is having the courage to design a life that makes you feel good and purposeful (finding purpose in the life you are creating).
• Let go of split energy. When you are spreading yourself thin, you produce split energy meaning your actions and words are not congruent. When you commit yourself to everyone else dreams, you self-sabotage your efforts to invest in your own life desires.
• Slow Down. When you take a moment to slow down and pace yourself you can get clarity on what direction you want to go. (slow and steady wins the race…..lesson from The Tortoise and The Hare an Aesop Fable)

Why Being Basic Won’t Do…

The Corona Virus issue has made us feel so many emotions with the ebb and flow of uncertainty; staying at home has become the new normal. This new normal has caused America to put everything on pause where being still is the cure. Many schools have closed around the world, people are now working from home, and some people no longer have a job. Although it can seem to be an uncomfortable time for the world, confronted with the reality that this is the time to let go of things no longer serve our lives.

In America, we are taught that being busy and living life on auto-pilot is acceptable. We choose to operate in a world encumber with a fast-food mentality, a microwave vision for our lives. The self-quarantine gives everyone a chance to slow down, saunter, and come to a shimmer. We no longer can follow the crowd but is challenged to do something different. I believe in this time of  the shutdown, we will not go back to normal.

This transformation will cause us to become a better version of our self. We can start by self-reflecting in every area of our lives. For me, it has taught me the valuable lesson of living in the present moment.

People’s lives are being transformed because we are now finding our passion, spending time with family, connecting with friends, and doing things we were too busy to do. When the curtain rises off this center stage play we call COVID-19, how will we move forward? Will everyone go back to being “basic” or will we embrace our new normal?

Below are three ways we can release ourselves from the “basic life” to the “extraordinary life.”

1. Write The Vision. While being at home, this is a perfect time to write a plan for yourself to make some changes in your life. (Ex: If you decide to start your business now is the time to create your website, draft a business plan, etc.)

2. Execute. There is no time like the present to start being intention by putting action in your new life. Use this time to start capitalizing on not being at work. (Ex: If you are working from home, let your paycheck build up, so when all this comes to an end, you will have enough saved to live your job.)

3. Live. Before the Corona Virus, many of us were going through the motions of life; however, with the shutdown of social events and going out; we will be more present in our lives. We will have more fun living life versus existing in it.

In the end, I am optimistic the self-quarantine will bring out a better America, where we are healing, there is more joy, peace, kindness & love to spread!

 

Be Brave.

Mediocrity does not fit you well. It is the enemy of your comfortable life and mind. You have gifts, skills and abilities to change the world but you fear rejection, lack of provision and wonder if you are good enough. While you allow mediocrity to keep you in your comfort zone you are missing out on how extraordinary your life can really be. So, it’s time to let go of mediocrity and get out of your own way. It’s time to become GREATNESS!

How often does being mediocre stop you from being the greatness you were born to be? I understand you wonder if what you really want to do can financially provide for all your human needs. You question yourself and wonder can you really be successful in following your passion and purpose. All, I can say is that I have recently been faced with these plaguing thoughts about being a full-time writer.

A couple of weeks ago I had one of my good friends tell me that I was in my own way of succeeding. She let me know that the gift I had was God sent and I needed to pursue it. She further explained how I was choosing what was easy due to fear of me being rejected and not believing in my own greatness. So, all I could do is listen to her and agree because her words were just the motivation I needed to believe in myself.

After leaving the military my career life took me down a path of self-discovery. I discovered that I wanted to get back to the love of writing and pursue it as a full-time career. I no longer wanted to dream about being a full-time writer but I wanted to live this dream. Since I was a child it was always my dream to write and travel around the world.

At a young age I wrote endless, short stories, poems, plays, songs and more. Writing is not only my passion but it is also my purpose. So, why was I not brave enough to do what I love? The answer was simple I was fearful of the opinions of others. Many times I have heard people say writing is not a real job. And I somewhat allowed this statement to resonate in my mind, playing over and over again like a scratched record.  

However, I fail to understand that the words we believe about our self shape our reality. The reality for me is, I am not a 9 to 5 Monday through Friday person. I am a creative soul who needs freedom, variety and flexibility. I understand I have to embrace my eccentricity. I can no longer reject pieces of myself to keep a mediocre life. I made the decision to put on my cape of bravery and pursue what I love.

The greatest lesson I am learning on this journey is no one will give you opportunities you have to be brave enough to create your own. And you have to believe in your greatness no matter how many opinions are stacked against you. In order to soar with eagles you have to be brave enough to leave the nest.

So, what you need to do to get out your own way, invest in your greatness and make the decision to be brave?

Being boring is a choice and being brave is an adventure choose wisely!

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