How To Live Life On Your Terms…

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/ch26a35u

If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story. ~Terry Pratchett~

Are you willing to live life the way you want or conform to society’s standards on how your life should be?

The above question is something I had to ask myself after I finished my military career. I knew I no longer cared to live my life by society’s metric of what is called “The American Dream,” but I wanted to live the life of my dreams. I knew doing things the conventional way would not work for me in the pursuit of living my dreams. So I had to learn how to create my own rules and break some rules to live my life on my own terms.

When we are born, we enter the world full of wonder, hopes, and aspirations, yet as we get older, we spend much of our time trying to live a life to please others. Young children have no shame in telling you who and what they want to be when they grow up. However, it is our adult cynicism that destroys our childlike imagination. Instead, we tell our children and ourselves “to be realistic” about their careers and life.

In reality, you are the protagonist (main character) in the story of your life, and it is your job to keep the storyline centered around your desires, dreams, and hopes. If you are not willing to build the life that fits you, other people will start to dictate what is best for your life. Overall, we should strive to live a life that we are proud of and exemplifies our genuine nature.

If you are ready and willing to live life on your own terms, understand it will be a life filled with unexpected adventures and moments. But I would rather live my life the way I wanted versus water down version of someone’s else idea of my life.

If you are ready to let go of the mediocre to jump into the extraordinary, then below, I have three simple ways to assist you in living life on your own terms.

1. Assess your values, priorities, and desires in your life in this present moment. (What do you really want your life to look like, and how do you want to feel?)
2. Align your values, priorities, and desires with your authentic nature. (Who do you want to be when you grow up?) (childlike mindset)
3. Action: Create some intentional action steps to plan the direction you need to start living your authentic life & begin to implement those steps. 

The Beauty of Being Yourself

In 2003, I looked in the mirror and realized I didn’t like myself. I had to confront the fact that who I was pretending to be was making others happy but making me feel unhappy. My world was falling apart because I was collapsing on the inside. I had no clue to who I was because I spent too much time running from myself. If you ever felt like this it is time to face the inner turmoil and heal.

As an ex-people pleaser, I realize how saying yes was my favorite addiction. It was hard for me to say no to people because I desired to make other people like me. However, I realize making others happy cost me a peace of mind. It takes courage to step out of the crowd and be different. Our differences are what make us beautiful, flaws, and all.

Here is the link to listen to this episode on The Inspirational Corner Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WowJvLuKyuI

 

 

Why Being Basic Won’t Do…

The Corona Virus issue has made us feel so many emotions with the ebb and flow of uncertainty; staying at home has become the new normal. This new normal has caused America to put everything on pause where being still is the cure. Many schools have closed around the world, people are now working from home, and some people no longer have a job. Although it can seem to be an uncomfortable time for the world, confronted with the reality that this is the time to let go of things no longer serve our lives.

In America, we are taught that being busy and living life on auto-pilot is acceptable. We choose to operate in a world encumber with a fast-food mentality, a microwave vision for our lives. The self-quarantine gives everyone a chance to slow down, saunter, and come to a shimmer. We no longer can follow the crowd but is challenged to do something different. I believe in this time of  the shutdown, we will not go back to normal.

This transformation will cause us to become a better version of our self. We can start by self-reflecting in every area of our lives. For me, it has taught me the valuable lesson of living in the present moment.

People’s lives are being transformed because we are now finding our passion, spending time with family, connecting with friends, and doing things we were too busy to do. When the curtain rises off this center stage play we call COVID-19, how will we move forward? Will everyone go back to being “basic” or will we embrace our new normal?

Below are three ways we can release ourselves from the “basic life” to the “extraordinary life.”

1. Write The Vision. While being at home, this is a perfect time to write a plan for yourself to make some changes in your life. (Ex: If you decide to start your business now is the time to create your website, draft a business plan, etc.)

2. Execute. There is no time like the present to start being intention by putting action in your new life. Use this time to start capitalizing on not being at work. (Ex: If you are working from home, let your paycheck build up, so when all this comes to an end, you will have enough saved to live your job.)

3. Live. Before the Corona Virus, many of us were going through the motions of life; however, with the shutdown of social events and going out; we will be more present in our lives. We will have more fun living life versus existing in it.

In the end, I am optimistic the self-quarantine will bring out a better America, where we are healing, there is more joy, peace, kindness & love to spread!

 

Pursuing Your Dream

 

How many times have you looked at your life and realize you are not living the life you desire? Did someone tell you that your dream was unattainable? Or did you let society dictate to you what was more important in your life?

When we are children, we believe we can be anything we desire to be in life. No matter how ridiculous our dreams may seem, as a child, we believe in our thoughts. As we shift into the teenage years, we start to let society dictate to us which journey will be profitable. We begin to focus on reality instead of the desire of our dreams.

The child inside of us starts to disappear because reality becomes more important than our childhood dreams. Our lives no longer hold enthusiasm or passion; instead, our adulthood has made us apathetic. We begin to forget about the vision we had to live a life full of wonder, passion, and excitement. Our dreams have become faint whispers needing a fresh breath. What can we do to resuscitate our passion for pursuing our dreams?

• The first step to pursuing your dream is to reconnect with your childhood dreams. When I was young, I enjoyed writing, and I remember my Uncle Dave would always tell me I was going to be a famous writer. I remember in 2003 while living in Sicily, my love for writing reignited when I read Maya Angelou’s poem “Phenomenal Woman” for open mic night. Four years later, I published my first poetry book. The little girl on the inside of me reconnected back with my lifelong dream to become a writer. It was up to me to answer the call!
• The second step is to write a list of the the things that stopped you from pursuing your dreams. After you recognize the roadblocks begin to write a list of possibilities of following your dreams. (For example: Roadblock: I stopped pursuing my dream of painting because I didn’t think I was a great artist. Possibility: I can start taking art classes at a local gallery to brush up on my artistic skills.)
• The last step is to surround yourself around people who are living your dream. When you surround yourself around like-minded people you are building a community of support. When you have a support system it fosters a life filled with enjoyment, creativity and success.

So pursue the life you desire instead of burying your dreams. Dreams are meant to be lived out loud!!!

The Art of Being Fear-less!

Can you really be fearless? Is this concept even possible? In a world that profit off our fears, how can we FEAR-LESS!

One time in your life, you have struggled with or struggle with fear. Fear is something that paralyzes us from living our best life. For the past twelve years of my life, fear was my best friend. I often embraced it to stay mediocre, lingering in my comfort zone. I knew nothing unusual grew out of my comfort zone, but it was comfortable.

I allowed fear to keep me from making decisions because I was scared I would make the wrong ones. However, entertaining fear kept me from living the best versions of my life. I didn’t realize that indecision was a decision I made to live in mediocrity. My fears stemmed from the disappointment of my youngest daughter’s death. I wasn’t living, just existing. But something phenomenal happen, I stopped running from fear and began to face it.

How did I make this shift?

Well, this summer I went home to visit her grave. It was the beginning of self-empowerment, taking my power back and reclaiming my life. When I went to her grave, I no longer felt empty; instead, I felt close to her. For the first time in twelve years, I felt close to her, and this was the beginning of me learning the art of being fearless!

Below are three lessons I have learned on how to fear-less:

• Admit Your Fears. Running away from your fears do not serve you, but, when you admit your fears, God can help you face them. Many times we stay busy to stop us from facing our fears. ( I didn’t want to face my grief, so I stayed busy for the last twelve years). 
• Face Your Fears. When you start to face your fears, you realize that most of the fears you have are not real. F.E.A.R is false evidence appearing to be real. Facing your fears are uncomfortable, but it makes you a stronger person.
• Live Life Abundantly. God wants you to live your life abundantly, but you can’t do that if fear runs your life. You have to be willing to let go of the weight for God to carry the burden.

So, I encourage you if you have lost a loved one in your life take the time to face how you feel so you can heal properly. We all have fears but in order to fear-less we have to face the fears head on!

 

 

The Importance of Reinventing Yourself…

In the last three months I can truly say I have been on an inner personal journey . I am learning how to face my fears, be vulnerable and communicate in an authentic way. Nonetheless, each journey has introduced me to a different me. I am evolving out of my cocoon and flourishing into a beautiful butterfly. I know as I evolve reinvention becomes an important part of the journey. Reinvention is the key to growth in life.

If you think about it companies are always reinventing their brands to appeal to different demographics. Companies take time to reassess what has worked for their brand and what has not worked for them. Just like a company, we should always reassess ourselves to see what methods in our lives are working and which ones need to be eliminated. Reinvention is the answer to transforming our lives into something new.

Below I will share three concepts on why reinventing yourself is so important.

1) Pain changes you. When we endure a tragedy in our lives it has the power to change us. I remember in 2007 when my two-year old daughter died it changed my life forever.  The power of losing a loved one changed my perspective on life. Pain causes you to step back, assess your lose and recreate a better you.

2) Starting Over. Sometimes it is hard to start over but starting over gives you a new outlook on life. It opens you up to many possibilities of living a life of adventure.

3) Nothing grows from a comfort zone. If you find yourself frustrated, irritated or annoyed nine times out of ten you are outgrowing the space you occupy. Many people allow fear to keep them hostage to their comfort zone. The biggest thing I have learned is that comfort zones are great but nothing phenomenal or extraordinary grows out of them.

 

Pain, starting over and escaping your comfort zone are essential things that help you reinvent your life. Reinventing yourself is important so it can unlock extraordinary things. So today, I challenge you to evolve past the norm and be intentional about reinventing an area of your life that seems stagnant. Once you begin the process you will  see life from a different perspective!

A Seat At The Table…

In a world full of people pleasers it is refreshing to be yourself. When you choose to be yourself magic happens in your life. You no longer settle for mediocrity but you embrace the extraordinary. It will ignite a spark in you to do life in a different way.

Fireworks are created when you no longer follow the crowd but decide to become the life of your own party. When you choose to walk in your power everyone will not accept you. However, learning to be you bravely takes courage.

In this journey you will understand that everyone will not get an invitation to the party of your life. The people you use to entertain will no longer get a seat to the table. You will  gravitate towards people who empower, inspire and encourage you. They will be the ones who become your tribe because you deserve a life filled with those celebrating your existence.

So, today I encourage you to reevaluate the people you have seating at the table of your life. Ask yourself this, “Is this person celebrating me or tolerating me?” You deserve the support, love and joy you give freely to everyone else.

 

Would love to hear your thoughts so chime in below!

 

Be Uncommon

When you find out who you are you stop running. All the illusions you once believed about yourself begin to fade away. You realize chasing others for external validation was never needed because you found out the truth. The truth was that you were always amazing.

When you are introduced to the real you then your life will change. How do I know?Well, it took me 37 years to find the real me beyond the layers of inadequacy. I spent seven years going through my “authentic journey”. To be honest, the journey has just begun. 

All those years in my life where I felt inadequate and wanted to fit in, I never realized it was never meant for me to fit in. Freedom came when I let go of the stigma of pleasing others & embraced loving myself. I believe when people truly start being themselves then we would have a world full of originals  instead of copycats.

So, today I challenge you to embrace the passionate, weird, quirky and funloving you. Because you my friend need to be the original AMAZING masterpiece you were created to be!

 

Cultivating A Sacred Space….

During this summer, I had time to press pause and learn to create a sacred space  for myself. In my 60 day journey I became aware of my depletion because  I was giving to others on an empty tank.  I felt like I was not enough or what I was doing was not enough. In a society where we pour out so much of our energy to our jobs, family and friends we have to create time to replenish ourselves.

In my  search for a better solution I was hit with the idea that who I am is enough. I had to give up the need for validation from outside sources. In reality, God was the only approving source I needed to accomplish everything in my life. He already approved of me so I no longer needed to ask for permission to be the woman I was meant to be.

I realized I needed to cultivate a sacred space to allow myself to be me. I had to let go of my self-sabotaging nature and embrace my freedom. When I searched for  clarity I knew I was the one getting in my own way. I had to reclaim my time, walk into my freedom and protect my space. This was the ultimate shift I needed in my life to receive all the  great things I deserved.

So, below I have three tips that can help you cultivate a sacred space to up level in your life.

1) Reclaim Your Time. In order  for you to gain clarity you have to stop what you are doing and make a u-turn. Go back to a point in your life where you felt fulfilled and then reassess what made you feel this way. Now think of a time in your life where you began to feel unfulfilled and you felt depleted. Think about what you were doing to create these feelings of emptiness. Reclaiming your time is about going back and pinpointing the day or moment you began to lose pieces of yourself.

2) Protect Your Space. You do not need to create a PSA for everyone to know every detail happening in your life. The greatest thing to do is be silent and figure out what is really meant for you to keep secrete. I am learning everything I endure is not always meant for me to share.

I find joy in creating special moments for myself without documenting them or discussing them with friends and family. This will help you keep intimate thoughts and moments to yourself. Another suggestion is buy a journal to release your thoughts, whether good or bad there will be no judgment because you have left your thoughts on paper.

3) Walk into your freedom. The greatest way to be free is to already know you are free. Create a time & space for yourself where you are free to do what you want without any other obligations.

Picking up a hobby that is fun will give you the freedom to focus on time just for you. It will allow you to create a space to let go and dive into your creativity.

How can you create a sacred space to regain your power back? And which tip will you work on this week.

Share your thoughts below in the comment section!

 

Reinventing The Blog

Hello Fellow Readers,

I would like to thank all  the readers who have been apart of our community for the last five years. Since the blog has moved from Blogger to WordPress it is my desire to not only have readers but it also a goal to create engaging content for the reader. As we create the content you love we hope you also signup for our blog post so it can arrive directly to your inbox.

The Inspirational Corner is noted as a blog to help women evolve into their authenticity. In the past we have geared our articles toward personal development however, in this new reinvention we will now create short story series once a month. The short story series will assist me in the development of writing my up and coming romance novel.

It is important to know our stories will  be in correlation with our mission, to provide content to inspire women. The short story series will have a theme each month. Soon we will survey our audience to see what content you would like to read for the short story series.

Our first short story series will be available in the Fall after we have completed our research and survey. It is important to give you (the reader) exactly what you desire. It is our goal to inspire you and assist you in the journey of connecting with your authentic self.

Sincerely,

Stylicia A. Bowden, The Inspirational Corner Founder