The Truth About Living An Unapologetic Life

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/5azn2m8

It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you. ~Rumi~

What does it mean to live an unapologetic life?

According to Webster’s dictionary, unapologetic is defined as an innate term of not acknowledging or expressing regret. However, I define the term unapologetic as living a life designed for your own gain & enjoyment.

As you begin your journey of living an unconventional life, everyone may not understand or support your decisions but believing in yourself is vital. The key blueprint of living an unapologetic life is embodied in having faith in your dreams, producing intentional steps to achieve each goal, and knowing everything will work in your favor, even the negative moments.

Overall, true freedom is when you no longer justify the way you live, embrace your life in the present moment, and build a life you are proud of. You are the interior designer of your life, and everyone else’s opinion should never matter as you produce your masterpiece.   

Below are four key components and questions to start your journey on living your life unapologetically.

1. Values: Define what you value by asking yourself what do I value?
2. Beliefs: What do you believe about yourself & your dreams?
3. Desires: Do you know what you really want to do?/What do you desire in your life?
4. Priorities/Goals: What is really important to you?/What are your life goals?

The Joy of Minding Your Own Business…

Have you ever found yourself helping everyone else, trying to fix everyone’s life, or obsessed with controlling what other people do? If so, you have a terrible case of minding other people’s business. There have been plenty of times I found myself trying to be a therapist, life coach, or psychologist to grown adults. My mission was to be the “fixer” in everyone else life instead of tending to my garden. However, I realize I needed to stop being a trash can for other people’s issues. In the end, I was creating codependent relationships.

In my journey of self-evolution and self-discovery, I have found it refreshing to stay focus on my own life. Staying focusing on my own life has helped me work on my relationship with myself. I have become more conscientious of the things that I can expand in my world. Learning to love my life and myself has given me the grace to let go of the thoughts or ideas of worrying about what other people think about me or what they may be doing. When you begin to mind your own business, you will feel lighter. It takes enough energy trying to cope with your life, adding other people’s issues to the equation causes chaos.

I am still on this journey of minding my own business and becoming the best version of myself. It is not an overnight process but a day to day evolution. Worrying about what others are doing, what people think about me, trying to gain people’s acceptance or validation is a waste of time. When you become connected to your inner world and start creating a life you love other people, life will no longer be a concern.

Below are three ways on how you can elegantly enjoy minding your own business:

1. Disconnect. Unplugging from social media or putting your phone on do not disturb is a great way to focus on the most important person which is…YOU!
2. Create a life you love. If you are proactive in producing a life you love, you will have less time being consume with other people’s life. You can find a hobby, write a list of all the things you are passionate about or the things you always desire to do.
3. Drown Out The Noise: Other people’s opinions about who you are, your life and what you do is not your concern. When you know who you are and what you do then other people’s perception is not relevant.

 

 

 

Why Being Basic Won’t Do…

The Corona Virus issue has made us feel so many emotions with the ebb and flow of uncertainty; staying at home has become the new normal. This new normal has caused America to put everything on pause where being still is the cure. Many schools have closed around the world, people are now working from home, and some people no longer have a job. Although it can seem to be an uncomfortable time for the world, confronted with the reality that this is the time to let go of things no longer serve our lives.

In America, we are taught that being busy and living life on auto-pilot is acceptable. We choose to operate in a world encumber with a fast-food mentality, a microwave vision for our lives. The self-quarantine gives everyone a chance to slow down, saunter, and come to a shimmer. We no longer can follow the crowd but is challenged to do something different. I believe in this time of  the shutdown, we will not go back to normal.

This transformation will cause us to become a better version of our self. We can start by self-reflecting in every area of our lives. For me, it has taught me the valuable lesson of living in the present moment.

People’s lives are being transformed because we are now finding our passion, spending time with family, connecting with friends, and doing things we were too busy to do. When the curtain rises off this center stage play we call COVID-19, how will we move forward? Will everyone go back to being “basic” or will we embrace our new normal?

Below are three ways we can release ourselves from the “basic life” to the “extraordinary life.”

1. Write The Vision. While being at home, this is a perfect time to write a plan for yourself to make some changes in your life. (Ex: If you decide to start your business now is the time to create your website, draft a business plan, etc.)

2. Execute. There is no time like the present to start being intention by putting action in your new life. Use this time to start capitalizing on not being at work. (Ex: If you are working from home, let your paycheck build up, so when all this comes to an end, you will have enough saved to live your job.)

3. Live. Before the Corona Virus, many of us were going through the motions of life; however, with the shutdown of social events and going out; we will be more present in our lives. We will have more fun living life versus existing in it.

In the end, I am optimistic the self-quarantine will bring out a better America, where we are healing, there is more joy, peace, kindness & love to spread!

 

Be Raw, Be Flawed, Be You!

When you look at a rock you see nothing exciting or beautiful about its features. A rock has no human form, people would consider it to be cold and aloof.  Yet a rock is apart of God’s creation just like a flower. However, we may say that a flower is more beautiful than a rock because of the outside features.

Nonetheless, just like a rock some people are hard on the outside yet beauty lies within. You never know what transpired in their life to make them bitter. Their bitterness is an accessory expressing their hurt.

I remember a period in my life where I accessorize bitterness. My heart was harden by traumatic experiences that happened. I was tired of life disappointing me over and over again. So, I created walls around my heart. I thought if I became emotionally unavailable then I would not get hurt. My elusive behavior kept me from love & fully living.

As I look back on my life I realize I was who I needed to be at that time. I understand that regretting who I was in the past does not serve me. I was raw, flawed and me. Those who saw me as a mess didn’t understand I was a rough draft. My blueprint of greatness was still pending.

Many times we judge ourselves for the raw version of who we are instead of being gentle with ourselves. When you are raw it forces you to be real; unrefined and unpolished. For instance, when a new singer produce their first album it is appealing because their vocals are unfiltered. Once they become commercialized they lose their authenticity; the record label want them to go with an image or sound that sells records versus talent. Growth is a beautiful thing but I never want to lose the thing that makes me relatable.

So, I urge you to be raw, be flawed & be you even if it is ugly right now. Don’t regret the rough draft you are at this moment. As you pursue a better version of yourself you will begin to peel back the blueprint so people can see you….the masterpiece!

The Journey…

I can attest to the colloquialism of life that it is a journey not a destination. Life is filled with unexpected detours, stop signs, roadblocks, turning lanes and much more. However, in the midst of it all, life is an adventure. In order to live the adventure you mustn’t resist the lessons it has to offer.

I have spent almost a decade trying to adjust to a new life since I left the military in 2008. The journey has been filled with ups and downs but it has equipped me to gain sea legs to weather the storm. I have come to the realization that life is filled with Alice and The Wonderland moments. Every time I tried to resist the ebb and flow of life I would wipe out like a person learning how to surf for the first time.

When you are open to the journey of life it will reveal serendipitous moments. These moments will lead you to your destiny. Your destiny may lead you to great adventures and opportunities. Life is not made for the person who love comfort zones instead it challenges you to get out your comfort zone. Comfort zones are security blankets that keep you stagnant.

Stagnancy leads to a life filled with no adventure, boredom, fear and lack. Lack creates a feeling of dissatisfaction which leads to discontentment. As you muddle through your journey be flexible in the ways that life will unfold.

Refresh Your Soul….

Every now & then we need something to refresh our soul. So, often the routine of life becomes monotonous. We have to break free to give ourselves a fresh perspective. It is important to open ourselves to something different. For me, art refreshes my mind and helps me to see life in a creative way. What is it you do to refresh your soul? Below are a list of ways you can refresh your soul when you feel complacent.
*Visit your local art galleries
* Explore your local downtown scene.
* Do something different in the middle of the week.
* Meditate
* Book a flight spontaneously.
* Spend some alone time
* Read a book outside your normal genre
* Listen to some music
* Have a stimulating conversation with a stranger
* Plan a road trip

What would you add to this list? Reply in the comment section!

Creating A Life You Love…

I spent years playing the game of comparison wishing my life would magically change. I was not aware of the fact that I had the power to change my life. The choice lied within one simple decision that I needed to make. 

Below is a list of ways you can create the life you love.

1. Be grateful.

2. Create a routine.

3. Break your routine.

4. Write down your goals.

5. Write down your dreams.

6. Be intentional.

7. Make a list of what you love to do.

8. Start doing what you love.

9. Be fearless.

10. Be kind.

11. Love more.

12. Be spontaneous.

13. Make yourself a priority.

14. Implement a self-care routine.

15. Be productive not busy.

16. Meditate.

17. Pray.

18. Read more.

19. Smile more.

20. Look for serendipitous moments.

21. Be confident.

22. Spend money on things you love.

23. Make new friends.

24. Spend time with your loved ones.

25. Celebrate your life.

26. Say No often.

27. Don’t  explain yourself to others.

28. Stop seeking validation.

29. Mind your own business.

30. Cultivate a sacred space for yourself.

31. Be mysterious.

32. Travel more.

33. Laugh Often.

34. Delete some people & things in your life.

35. Add some things & people in your life.

 

 

Cultivating A Sacred Space….

During this summer, I had time to press pause and learn to create a sacred space  for myself. In my 60 day journey I became aware of my depletion because  I was giving to others on an empty tank.  I felt like I was not enough or what I was doing was not enough. In a society where we pour out so much of our energy to our jobs, family and friends we have to create time to replenish ourselves.

In my  search for a better solution I was hit with the idea that who I am is enough. I had to give up the need for validation from outside sources. In reality, God was the only approving source I needed to accomplish everything in my life. He already approved of me so I no longer needed to ask for permission to be the woman I was meant to be.

I realized I needed to cultivate a sacred space to allow myself to be me. I had to let go of my self-sabotaging nature and embrace my freedom. When I searched for  clarity I knew I was the one getting in my own way. I had to reclaim my time, walk into my freedom and protect my space. This was the ultimate shift I needed in my life to receive all the  great things I deserved.

So, below I have three tips that can help you cultivate a sacred space to up level in your life.

1) Reclaim Your Time. In order  for you to gain clarity you have to stop what you are doing and make a u-turn. Go back to a point in your life where you felt fulfilled and then reassess what made you feel this way. Now think of a time in your life where you began to feel unfulfilled and you felt depleted. Think about what you were doing to create these feelings of emptiness. Reclaiming your time is about going back and pinpointing the day or moment you began to lose pieces of yourself.

2) Protect Your Space. You do not need to create a PSA for everyone to know every detail happening in your life. The greatest thing to do is be silent and figure out what is really meant for you to keep secrete. I am learning everything I endure is not always meant for me to share.

I find joy in creating special moments for myself without documenting them or discussing them with friends and family. This will help you keep intimate thoughts and moments to yourself. Another suggestion is buy a journal to release your thoughts, whether good or bad there will be no judgment because you have left your thoughts on paper.

3) Walk into your freedom. The greatest way to be free is to already know you are free. Create a time & space for yourself where you are free to do what you want without any other obligations.

Picking up a hobby that is fun will give you the freedom to focus on time just for you. It will allow you to create a space to let go and dive into your creativity.

How can you create a sacred space to regain your power back? And which tip will you work on this week.

Share your thoughts below in the comment section!

 

Dive Into The Unknown!

I woke up with a deep inclination with the thought of no longer doing something I don’t love because it was time to pursue what I really loved. I did not want to continue wasting time  working on a job that did not give me fulfillment. I wanted to break the shell to live beyond the line of mediocre. I knew it was time to let go of the things that made me miserable and gravitate to the things that fulfilled me. The one thing I knew I had to let go was my job. Some people wake up to go to work others wake up to go to their career and some simply wake up to go to life. When I say that some people wake up to go to life I simply mean that some people no longer live in the box of mediocrity but they are living the life they desire because they possess the faith and courage to pursue their dreams. However, it is bigger than pursuing your dreams; pursuing life wholeheartedly without limitations is brave. Many people live in a fish bowl hoping something or someone can save them from their misery. In reality, we have the power to save ourselves by taking back our life. I believe I am in a season where I have decided to take back my life. If I want to take back my life I have to be bold enough to create the life I desire. The first thing I realized I had to do was exchange my spoken words with action.

Many of us constantly say what we will do but never apply the action. Action is a key ingredient to taking back your life so you can live a life of fulfillment. I know I cannot spend another day, hour or moment not doing what I love because it is slowly taking bits and pieces away from my energy. I need the energy to do what is sufficient to me. It is important to be wise in the things you put your energy into in life. We constantly waste our energies on unproductive factors that lead us to dead ends where we have to back track to our first love, vision or dream. Some of us are in the middle of pursuing the dream, the vision working a 9 to 5 to transition to our ultimate goal. No matter where you maybe in the pursuit of life you have to be willing to dismiss the fear factor and dive into the unknown. The unknown exist outside of your comfort zone. The unknown is a place where you no longer feel comfortable but a bit uneasy. However, it is through our uneasiness where we begin to pierce through the balloon of our best life. Situations that challenge us have the distinct power to change us for the better.  If you are willing to be uncomfortable then you are ready to live life. Life can only be lived if your ready to explore unfamiliar places. The hidden places are the places that will bring a sense of contentment and joy. I challenge you not to waste anymore time feeling comfortable where your happiness is withering away but to break the shell, dive into the unknown. The unknown will be the beginning of starting the best life you could ever imagine. Launch out into the unknown!