Create More, Consume Less

Consumption has been at an all-time high in America, where the temptation to do more, buy more & work harder is encouraged. No matter where we go, we are consumed with technology, marketing & so much more.

Recently, I decided to reassess how much I’m consuming and how intentional I am at creating things in my life. I discovered that I’ve been spending too much time-consuming. So I decided to monitor what I’m consuming & see where I can create more.

As I monitor my consumption, I understand why my creativity is stagnant, especially in producing my next book project.

Creativity is the gatekeeper of helping our imagination evolve. Without time to nourish creativity, we become stagnant in our mindset. We begin to lose the joy of reigniting our childlike nature.

So what can we do to create more & consume less?

The first step is to be aware of what you are consuming, why you are consuming & it is hindering or helping you. Consumption in moderation is vital.

The second step is to figure out why you avoid nourishing your creativity. I realized avoidance of what you need to do leads to mindless consumption. Avoiding what needs to be done is easier than confronting the root of the problem. 

The third step is to set boundaries and time management around how much you consume through shopping, social media, or being connected to technology. It is okay to detox and disconnect from information overload. 

After completing these steps you can begin to start making space for your creativity. Overall, creating is about enjoyment, connection, letting things flow and allowing yourself to have space to implement things that bring you joy.

The Lost Art of Hobbies…

Access this podcast episode here: https://youtu.be/fAeNcNglRzM

Once upon a time, we lived in a world filled with hobbies that gave us enjoyment and pleasure. But as life began to shift, we became consumed with the grind and social media, turning every possible thing into a business or side hustle.

And in this world of Instagram, Tik Tok, and every other social media platform (where in reality it has taken us away from social connection), we find that we are not enjoying hobbies, but we are constantly promoting the next business venture. So I ask you, what happens to the simplicity, ease, and the delight of doing things because they bring us joy?

Today, I knew I needed to make a list of my hobbies because I believe my hobbies and business ventures have merged. In the merge, I have found the repugnant stem of burn-out, exhaustion, and tiredness. I know it is time for me to let go of burn-out and embrace the joy of having hobbies for pure pleasure.

It is important to have hobbies because they give us time to refresh, rejuvenate and recalibrate our mind, body, and spirit. When we are in a hustle mindset, grind and promoting every business venture, we hit a wall of stagnancy.

Stagnancy creates staleness because there is no movement for growth or exploration. As human beings, we expand, flow, and grow every day of our lives; however, if we are entertaining the hustle all day, where can we begin to institute the power of play?

I have found the answer, and it is simply letting go of the idea that every skill, talent, or passion has to be a business. So, below are a couple of ways you can define your hobbies and reconnect to the power of fun and enjoyment.

1. Make a list of your hobbies. (If it does not bring you pleasure or enjoyment, do not put it on your list).
2. Make a list of your business ventures or businesses you want to create. ( If it does not make you feel excited or purposeful, do not put it on the list).
3. Pick one hobby you can incorporate into your life on a daily or weekly basis. (When you began to add your pleasures into your weekly routine, it will stimulate your creativity or creative juices.)

Creating An Intentional Year…

The year 2020 has taken center stage, and everyone has made their goals, resolutions & vision boards. With the onset of January comes enthusiasm to make our dreams into reality. However, once February steps in, the spark begins to fizzle, and sticking to our vision fades. The dust starts to settle as we find ourselves back to the beginning waiting for a new year to create more goals, resolutions & vision boards.

Does this pattern sound familiar to you? If so, then it’s time to add intention to your year. According to Webster, dictionary intention is defined as an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result. This definition can be translated as changing your mindset to create an effect to accomplish your goals. When you are intentional with your new year goals, visions, and more, you can create a year filled with productivity. Many times we go into the new year with the same mindset from the prior year, which generates an insanity cycle. Instead of producing a new year, we produce another monotonous year.

Below I have three simple tips to help you have an intentional 2020!

1. Transform Your Mind. Before you can have a fabulous new year in this new decade and leap year, you have to be willing to let go of all negative things in your mind. Make a list of your old beliefs that did not serve you then write new beliefs that will help you accomplish your 2020 goals. (Note: Who do you need/have to become to make 2020 a “new” year?)
2. Declutter without restraint. Letting go is hard, but things flow better when you make room for what you desire. When you declutter all areas of your life, it can help you gain clarity.  (Note: Do not resist letting go of people, places, and things that no longer serve your life.)
3. Take Action. Dreams, goals and visions only become reality when you take action. Small actions eventually will measure bigger actions towards your goals. (Note: Fear, procrastination and making excuses are distractions to keep you from being intentional. Face the fears and replace them will faith and confidence in what you want to accomplish.)

Become the Picasso of Your Life

In 2019, I realized to have a different year I needed to become the painter in my own life. So often I have allowed other people to paint their ideas, opinions, and theology for my life which resulted in forgery. Allowing others to paint on the canvas of your life causes fraudulent creations because you are letting them put their vision into action. It is essential to create a vision for your life and be the creator of it. When you put other people into the driver seat of your life it causes chaos. I am learning that when I have a vision, I can’t expect people to understand it or co-sign on it.

A vision is something that gives you clarity about the goals you want to accomplish. When you are not clear about the idea for your life society will cloud your judgment with their perspective. In 2019, it is time for you to take back the paintbrush and begin generating your life masterpiece.

Below I have three specific ways you can become the Picasso of your own life!

1.Create The Vision: Whether it is a vision board, vision journal or collage take the time to define your vision, this will help you see your goals clearly. Then you will be able to create action steps to accomplish them.

2.Stop Explaining Yourself: I have learned the hard way that sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut. When you prematurely share your dreams, aspirations or goals with others sometimes it can discourage you if their input is not what you wanted to hear. True, we want everyone to be excited about our goals, our life and dreams but understand everyone will not understand the blueprint of your life. God individually designed your life to fit you and others validation is never needed.

3.Creativity is Messy: Understand that the road of life is not a straight line but filled with dead ends, detours and u-turns. When you are handed a blank canvas to create the vision for your dream life know that being flexible is essential. Many artist create beautiful masterpieces by understanding the first stages are messy.

 

How do you plan to become the Picasso of your life in 2019? (Leave your comment below…)

Hygge for the Holidays…..

Slowing down……such a foreign concept to me for several years until I settled down in the south. As a single mom slowing down is a challenge everyday because there is always something to do on the checklist. However, in the last two years I have been challenged to slow down and really embrace the present moment. The present moment is crystallized by focusing on the now. The “now” moments are the moments we can never gain back. If this is true, then why do we rush through one event to the next?

Lately, I have been intrigued with going a lot slower in my everyday life. It has made a big difference in my mindset. Although, the holidays are here I am truly embracing slow motion. In my pursuit of this new lifestyle I have came across the word hygge (hoo-gah) practiced by the Danish culture. This lifestyle is a Danish concept that has been popping up everywhere I go. I can’t remember exactly where I heard it but I have been researching a little deeper about this concept. For a long time there was no formal definition for this word however, more Americans have become aware of this concept.

The holidays is great time to practice this Danish concept especially since Thanksgiving and Christmas is right around the corner. I don’t believe in putting concepts in a box so you have the power to rearrange it the way it fits your life. For example, hygge to me is drinking hot cocoa, tea or wine during the winter months, watching a movie, reading a book and spending some quality time with my daughter.

No matter what concept, tradition or non-tradition you practice slowing down and enjoying the moment should be apart of your daily regiment.

Here is a book I am currently reading check it out in Stylicia’s Reads.

The Journey…

I can attest to the colloquialism of life that it is a journey not a destination. Life is filled with unexpected detours, stop signs, roadblocks, turning lanes and much more. However, in the midst of it all, life is an adventure. In order to live the adventure you mustn’t resist the lessons it has to offer.

I have spent almost a decade trying to adjust to a new life since I left the military in 2008. The journey has been filled with ups and downs but it has equipped me to gain sea legs to weather the storm. I have come to the realization that life is filled with Alice and The Wonderland moments. Every time I tried to resist the ebb and flow of life I would wipe out like a person learning how to surf for the first time.

When you are open to the journey of life it will reveal serendipitous moments. These moments will lead you to your destiny. Your destiny may lead you to great adventures and opportunities. Life is not made for the person who love comfort zones instead it challenges you to get out your comfort zone. Comfort zones are security blankets that keep you stagnant.

Stagnancy leads to a life filled with no adventure, boredom, fear and lack. Lack creates a feeling of dissatisfaction which leads to discontentment. As you muddle through your journey be flexible in the ways that life will unfold.

Art Is Everywhere!

 

(Pictures taken during my visit at Columbia Museum of Art)

If you spend time to slow down you will notice that the collage of art exist right before your eyes. Art is not just hidden in pictures or paintings but the significance of art is in the atmosphere that surrounds us. It is up to us to appreciate the lessons art has to bring in our lives. I am an avid art lover and believe art help us tap into our creative side. Everyone has a creative being that lies dormant ready to be awaken. When we starve our creative being we become stagnant as our life becomes meaningless or boring. Creativity stimulates the brain releasing a positive flow of positive thoughts or ideas to invade our mind. When positive images or ideas stream through our brain we become motivated to create. I had a chance to introduce my daughter to Columbia Museum of Art. The Columbia Museum of Art is one of the best art museum that I have found. I loved studying the Baroque, Rococo and Roman style pictures from the 18th century to the 20th century. It was refreshing to do something new outside of our normal weekend routine. The experience was unforgettable as we gazed at paintings that represented spirituality, womanhood, childhood and family. Each picture had its own distinct message as each artist used certain colors, locations and expressions to capture their message they wanted to convey to the viewer. Art has a way of telling stories whether real or fictional an artist uses his/her surroundings to inspire their work of art. I challenge you to take a day to visit your local art museums or studios to broaden your cultural awareness. Do not hesitate to take your family to give them an experience that will not only be enjoyable but enlightening as well. Art is everywhere if we open our heart and mind to the creativity around us. 

If you live inside the South Carolina area do not hesitate to visit the Columbia Museum of Art. For more information on exhibitions and events go to: http://www.columbiamuseum.org 

My Year of Jubilee, My Year of Celebrating Me!

 

I decided to take a whole year from October 1st 2013 to Oct 1st 2014 to focus on celebrating myself holistically. I realize as women we do not celebrate our accomplishments enough while we cater to so many other people we have to choose to cater to ourselves. I believe we lose sight of who we are because we put ourselves on the backburner supporting everyone else dreams. In this year I will celebrate who I am to the fullest. I am honored and excited to be in the November 2013 issue of Essence Magazine on pg. 14 defining my thoughts on black beauty. Get your copy today!

 

 



Blending In Is Overrated, Blending Out is Underrated!

We live in a society where everyone wants to blend in just to fit in a box. The box implements boundaries and limitations that decrease the level of originality. No one wants to be different because of the paralyzing fear of being rejected. Rejection is the sore that festers from hurt and pain inflicted by others. However, rejection is a part of life and it is the climax of growth. No one who ever strives to be great dodged the bullets of rejection. Rejection is not something you want to embrace but it is a lesson that is worth exploring. Society teaches us the game of being mediocre instead of reaching higher. Mediocre people do not mind blending in and doing just enough to get by day to day. However, mediocrity can cause you to slip and slide into a world of regret and complacency. Mediocrity will keep you stagnant or stale where mold will destroy your creativity, your dreams, your tenacity and much more. People who want more out of life never get caught in the box of mediocrity instead they become busy creating their own path to success. If you fear success then you will never have the motivation to succeed. Failure is the catalyst of learning how to succeed. We never really understand that failure fuels us to have faith to go the extra mile. Do not let circumstances, stigmas, rules or limitations stop you from reaching your full potential. The world will use tactics to stop you from accomplishing all the things that you need to do in life in order to fulfill your God given destiny. It is important you strive to rewrite your script and get back in the driver’s seat of your life. Many times we allow others opinions, ideas and experiences define our own life path. Therefore we have to learn how to blend out. Blending in has become socially acceptable for those who have no ambition to grow higher and move forward. Blending out is about having the courage to speak your truth, stand up for what you believe in, and being honest with yourself. Deception is a silent killer that robs you of your authentic moments in life. The only way to walk in truth is by embracing the person you really are within. Below I will give a couple of tips on how you can be more effective of blending out.

Tips To Blend Out

1) People Pleasing is Overrated. If you are living your life to please others please understand you are doing yourself a great disservice. No one will every truly appreciate you for who you are if you live to make them happy. You will lose your self worth, self love and most of all self respect. Live to please God and yourself.

2) Happiness is momentarily but joy is everlasting. Everyone is on the road to happiness but happiness is just for a moment. You have to make it up in your mind no matter what comes you way you will be content and joyful.

3) Becoming Authentic. You cannot discuss authenticity until you first go through the journey of how to be authentic. Everyone use the word authentic but I wonder if they really understand the significance of the word. Blending out is knowing who you are and becoming your true self. Authenticity is the key to this life journey.

4) Self Fulfillment. We live in a world where it is taught that putting yourself first is wrong but if we are striving to blend out you have to learn to figure out what makes you happy, what are you passionate about and make your dreams happen. Self fulfillment is part of taking the time to get to know what fulfills you and gives you passion.

5)  One Of A Kind. A person who dares to dance to their own rhythm becomes the creator of understanding what makes them unique. When you embrace your unique quality God can use this to change the world. Stay in your lane, expand it and continue to create opportunities instead of waiting on opportunities.

Never be scared to blend out, blending out is the adrenaline you will find on the road to becoming free and becoming you!

Tis’ The Season to Be Colorful

Do not be a drab, be fab & colorful! ~Stylicia~

Fall has quickly slipped in and summer has gracefully left us. However, now that summer is gone the autumn weather will seep in with cooler temperatures forcing us to put on more layers of clothes. Summer exhibits a wide spectrum of bright colors while autumn  tends to bring in the lackluster of colors ranging from blue, black and gray. But this season you do not have to look like a drab for the autumn season because bold colors have taken form for Fall/Winter 2012. During the New York Fashion week bold bright and edgy colors ripped the runaway at the beginning of this year. So, this season its time to take out those bold colors to  implement them in your fall/winter wardrobe. Vibrant colors bring sexiness, fun and joy  into your personality. I decided that color would be my best friend in this season as I introduced it slowly into my fall/winter collection . It is fun to learn new ways to have fun with your fashion wardrobe. Recently, I realized I love loafers, this will be my signature style for the fall/winter months. I decided to use scarves as a colorful neck accessory for this season as well. If you are clueless on how to implement color gracefully and tastefully in your wardrobe this season I will provide a couple of helpful tips to get you in the game! If you are ready to start the journey of color follow the tips below to get you on the move.

Here are the following helpful fashion tips for adding color to your style.

1) Keep It Simple. I realize less is more so slowly add a splash of color in your fall/winter 2012 wardrobe by wearing a colorful scarf around your neck. Make sure the scarf is the only thing that stands out in your wardrobe. Try new colors you never tried before you never know what will work for your skin tone. 


2) Be Colorblind. Do not be scared to mix up colors in your wardrobe. Have fun color- blocking this fall/winter season.

3) Colorful Worldwide. Be bold and add color internationally in your wardrobe from your hats, shoes to clothes and even makeup. It would be good to take a shopping buddy with you that will help you figure out what colors accent your best features. When it comes to makeup make sure you treat yourself to the MAC makeup counter.

4) Color Me Bad. Have the confidence to wear any color…step out & own your colorful wardrobe palette. 

5) Create Your Mood With Colors. Every color has a meaning find out the meaning to create a certain mood with the color you want to wear. For instance, purple is the color for royalty. So if you want to feel like a queen for a day wear purple. 

The Meaning of Colors:

Color	Meaning
RED:	warmth, love, anger, danger, boldness, excitement, speed, strength, energy, determination, desire, passion, courage
ORANGE:	cheerfulness, low cost, affordability, enthusiasm, stimulation, creativity, aggression, food
YELLOW:	attention-grabbing, comfort, liveliness, cowardliness, hunger, optimism, overwhelm, Summer, comfort, liveliness, intellect, happiness, energy, conflict
GREEN:	durability, reliability, environmental, luxurious, optimism, well-being, nature, calm, relaxation, Spring, safety, honesty, optimism, harmony, freshness
BLUE:	peace, professionalism, loyalty, reliability, honor, melancholia, boredom, coldness, Winter, depth, stability, professionalism,  honor, trust
PURPLE:	power, royalty, nobility, elegance, sophistication, artificial, luxury, mystery, royalty, elegance, magic
GRAY:	conservatism, traditionalism, intelligence, serious, dull, uninteresting
BROWN:	relaxing, confident, casual, reassuring, nature, earthy, solid, reliable, genuine, Autumn, endurance
BLACK:	Elegance, sophistication, formality, power, strength, illegality, depression, morbidity, night, death
WHITE:	Cleanliness, purity, newness, virginity, peace, innocence, simplicity, sterility, snow, ice, cold

 

After all is said & done have fun with colors because this is the season to be a rainbow of joy, laughter, prosperity & fun!